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What a lively discussion! Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Comments are now closed.
Lawyers are in gravy and ratepayers are getting a stuffing as Lower Hutt councillors rack up big bills to settle disputes over such vital questions as whether a roast chicken buffet counts as … View moreWhat a lively discussion! Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Comments are now closed.
Lawyers are in gravy and ratepayers are getting a stuffing as Lower Hutt councillors rack up big bills to settle disputes over such vital questions as whether a roast chicken buffet counts as "lavish".
Have a read and let us know - are these fees and these disputes reasonable? Why or why not? Comments may be used in print unless stated otherwise with NFP (Not For Print)
Join the Park ranger on this Saturday 12 AUGUST 9.00 AM
MORNING TEA PROVIDED
Park entrance
TOP OF HILL ROAD
Belmont, Lower Hutt
All WELCOME - bring a spade if you can
Smart Travel is a new platform here to help friendly Wellingtonians like you get to where you’re going in a better way, making your travel cheaper, more social, and easier on the environment. By registering and creating a profile with Smart Travel, you can use the website and app to find other … View moreSmart Travel is a new platform here to help friendly Wellingtonians like you get to where you’re going in a better way, making your travel cheaper, more social, and easier on the environment. By registering and creating a profile with Smart Travel, you can use the website and app to find other commuters to carpool with, or offer your services as a driver. Sign up today and start logging your journeys and you could be in to win rewards like Prezzy Cards and vouchers.
Thanks for your entries everyone! The winner has been notified.
If you're up for a night of glitter and rhinestones, enter our giveaway for a double pass to Marathong NZ 1.0! Eight of New Zealand's top burlesque dancers will be performing on stage at the Little Theatre at the Dowse Art… View moreThanks for your entries everyone! The winner has been notified.
If you're up for a night of glitter and rhinestones, enter our giveaway for a double pass to Marathong NZ 1.0! Eight of New Zealand's top burlesque dancers will be performing on stage at the Little Theatre at the Dowse Art Museum on Friday August 18. To win a double pass, either comment here with why you would like to go, or email editor@huttnews.co.nz with "Marathong" in the subject line and your contact details in the body.
Stuffed birds and rifle racks will make way for purrs and pats when Wellington's first cat cafe opens at the site of a former gun shop.
Ken and Richelle Okada have signed the lease of the Jackson St premises in Petone where they plan to open the Neko Ngeru Cat Adoption Cafe in … View moreStuffed birds and rifle racks will make way for purrs and pats when Wellington's first cat cafe opens at the site of a former gun shop.
Ken and Richelle Okada have signed the lease of the Jackson St premises in Petone where they plan to open the Neko Ngeru Cat Adoption Cafe in October.
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There is a big difference between divorcing or breaking up when the two of you have grown apart as opposed to when your partner betrayed you. Your emotional reactions will be vastly different in those two instances.
When you feel betrayed and hurt, the challenge is staying civil. It’s also … View moreThere is a big difference between divorcing or breaking up when the two of you have grown apart as opposed to when your partner betrayed you. Your emotional reactions will be vastly different in those two instances.
When you feel betrayed and hurt, the challenge is staying civil. It’s also very difficult to move on because betrayal can make you completely consumed and overwhelmed with negative feelings. You may be drawn to find the answers why this happened or what you have done wrong to deserve this kind of treatment.
If you remain focused on feeling betrayed, you will stay stuck in bitterness and frustration. How can you handle betrayal so you can continue with your life?
1. Acknowledge your feelings to honor yourself
First, know it’s completely understandable how you feel. Betrayal from a romantic partner hit you the hardest. We are mammals and we are simply designed to attach to other beings. When a betrayal such as your partner having an affair or wanting to leave you disrupts this bond, this hurts you hard.
You may have a desire to lash out and make your partner’s life miserable. This is normal. You’ve been hurt and these are natural emotional reactions in response to deep pain. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and work through them.
2. Seek help to process difficult feelings
Working with a good therapist who specializes in relationships can help you work through your feelings and heal much faster.
Acknowledging your emotions allows you to recognize you’ve been hurt, and it’s not how you like to be treated. By acknowledging your emotions, you are honoring yourself, learning to build better boundaries, and recognizing what works and doesn’t work for you. Betrayal hurts, and you were not responsible for it. This leads us to the next tip which can change a lot for you.
3. Determine the focus of your emotions when you’re feeling betrayed
When feeling betrayed, it’s quite natural to focus on questions such as,” Why did he do this to me?” and, “What did I do wrong”? You are basically trying to empathize with him and his reasoning, while opening yourself up to potentially more hurt and feelings of inadequacy.
Empathizing with your partner is not necessarily wrong, but when you are trying to move on, it can be a trap that keeps you emotionally entangled and stuck on him.
In addition, this kind of mindset can lead to further scrutiny and judgment of yourself. This can drastically diminish your self-esteem. If you are like many women, you already do enough self-criticism.
Similarly, if you stay emotionally focused on his negative qualities, you will stay stuck. Even if you feel like you hate him now, this only means that you are emotionally preoccupied with him.
How to focus on yourself to effectively heal after a breakup
Instead of wondering about him and figuring out his mindset, it would be more helpful to focus on yourself. I don’t mean analyse what went wrong that made him betray you, but figure out what it is you need in life. What brings you joy and happiness?
Answering this question will help you work towards creating the life you want for the future. This is the time when you can draw clear lines with what does and doesn’t work for you. This is the time to realize what kind of partner isn’t good for you.
Naturally, you are angry due to the betrayal. Although women are not encouraged to express or acknowledge feelings such as anger, working through this anger can help you learn about yourself and live an authentic and happy life. This takes some effort, but it’s liberating and helpful in healing after a breakup or divorce.
4. Stay active and keep yourself occupied
After a betrayal and breakup you may struggle to maintain your regular daily activities during the initial stage of grief.
If you have a chance, you may choose to take some time off work. To heal after a breakup faster, surround yourself with good, positive friends and family.
If you are taking time off work, don’t stay at home the entire time. Take a trip. Visit a good friend or relative.
If you are taking time off work, but don’t want to take a trip, perhaps you can reengage in an old passion or engage in some activities that will require you to learn something new.
What about those paragliding classes you never had a chance to take? Or that painting class you kept putting off? Doing any kind of creative or adventurous activity will stimulate your brain and help you avoid ruminating about your painful feelings. If you are going back to your old passions, avoid doing things you’ve done with him. Right now focus on those things you were doing before meeting him.
Continuing to work can be a better choice for some during this period of grief. You may have a few important projects with deadlines. This will help you maintain some normalcy in life and thus feel more in control. Maintaining your focus on work helps distract you from your breakup or divorce. But be sure you take care of yourself. Read more about self-care tips when you are feeling down.
5. Keep a positive perspective
Going through difficult times like this is not something you signed up for, but it’s helpful to know you can get through it. You’ve experienced difficult times before, and you’ve managed. Remember the resources that helped you during those times. Keeping a positive mindset and surrounding yourself with positive people can make a huge difference in your recovery from betrayal.
Blog written by Dalila Jusic-LaBerge
Exercising doesn't have to be a slog! You can make getting fit and healthy great fun, especially doing it with your best bud! Click through to SuperValue's Facebook page and TAG a fitness buddy to go in the draw to WIN a Fitbit for you and your friend.
This follows a decision made by Greater Wellington Regional Council (GWRC) this morning. The decision was based on an investigation by Wellington Water which you can read on our website where there's also links to more information about the decision: www.huttcity.govt.nz...
Our Mayor Ray … View moreThis follows a decision made by Greater Wellington Regional Council (GWRC) this morning. The decision was based on an investigation by Wellington Water which you can read on our website where there's also links to more information about the decision: www.huttcity.govt.nz...
Our Mayor Ray Wallace says about the decision by GWRC: "no chances should ever be taken when it comes to drinking water quality.
“No one wants a repeat of the Havelock North experience. Public safety has always been our number one priority, and we must continue to listen to the experts who tell us that a combination of chlorination and UV treatment for our network is the best long-term approach.
“It’s fantastic that we’re also able to offer an un-chlorinated solution in Lower Hutt for those that prefer it at the Buick Street and Dowse Square fountains. These fountains are now both open and treated with a UV filter and filtration. At the flow-rate of water from the fountains, the UV and filtration provides effective barriers against possible contaminants and means the water complies with the Drinking Water Standards of New Zealand.While it is sad that this has happened and investigations have not found a single root cause, it is something we must accept and I am confident that the best possible solution has been found for our city.”
Hey Neighbours!!
As part of my 12 Week HAL Challenges I run adhoc Let's Get Moving activities where participants can earn bonus points for joining in an organised physical activity's.
But I thought why not open it up to anyone who wants to get moving with a friendly supportive group… View moreHey Neighbours!!
As part of my 12 Week HAL Challenges I run adhoc Let's Get Moving activities where participants can earn bonus points for joining in an organised physical activity's.
But I thought why not open it up to anyone who wants to get moving with a friendly supportive group of people? So I did.
I've created a meet up group that you can join by clicking the link but I will be posting on the day as well.
We were meant to be doing a Bridge to Bridge walk/run tonight at 6.30pm but looking at the window I'm not sure that we will. However, if you're keen then get in touch with your phone number as anything can change between now and then and as long as it's not actually raining we'll be going ahead.
After each work out (which is free of charge)I will have $5 nutrition shakes available for anyone that wants them - proceeds to be donated to charity.
Have an awesome day! Stay dry and warm.
If you live in Wainuiomata, have a Community Services Card, and need curtains, go to the Wainuiomata Community Centre today!
Wellington Curtain Bank is giving free curtains to people who need them. Go to the community centre to pick up a form, take it home to measure your windows and bring your … View moreIf you live in Wainuiomata, have a Community Services Card, and need curtains, go to the Wainuiomata Community Centre today!
Wellington Curtain Bank is giving free curtains to people who need them. Go to the community centre to pick up a form, take it home to measure your windows and bring your form back by Friday, August 18th. We make the curtains especially to fit your window, and then drop them back to the community centre for you to take home and hang.
Curtains keep the heat in, the cold out and the power bills down. To find out more go to the event on Facebook, call 0508 78 78 24 x 705, or head to the community centre at 1A Queen Street.
***5 Day Healthy Eating Challenge***
Just 5 days - starts every Monday morning, will you be on the next one?
For more information and to register click the link
See you on the next challenge!!
We're pleased to announce that the Dowse Square public water fountains are now open and ready to use. This follows the Buick Street public fountain reopening in June. Thanks for your patience while we installed the filtration and UV unit at Dowse Square. This system will treat the artesian … View moreWe're pleased to announce that the Dowse Square public water fountains are now open and ready to use. This follows the Buick Street public fountain reopening in June. Thanks for your patience while we installed the filtration and UV unit at Dowse Square. This system will treat the artesian water before it comes out of the tap.
At the flow-rate of water from the public fountain, the filters and the UV unit will provide effective barriers against contaminants such as giardia, cryptosporidium, campylobacter and E.coli. It also complies with the Drinking Water Standards of New Zealand, and will be monitored regularly with oversight from Regional Public Health.
Remember to make sure that your storage containers are clean before collecting your water!
You can also find out more about the filtration and UV treatment at our public fountains on the Wellington Water website, just scroll to the bottom of the page and click on 'No chlorine at public fountains' www.wellingtonwater.co.nz...
Fred Coetzer can vouch for the good work of the Te Omanga Hospice.
Last year, the then 83-year-old suffered heart failure that left him battling for his life.
Surgeons at Hutt Hospital said he was unlikely to survive surgery and if he did, he would probably suffer a stroke.
His wife, Maureen,… View moreFred Coetzer can vouch for the good work of the Te Omanga Hospice.
Last year, the then 83-year-old suffered heart failure that left him battling for his life.
Surgeons at Hutt Hospital said he was unlikely to survive surgery and if he did, he would probably suffer a stroke.
His wife, Maureen, ...
***5 Day Healthy Eating Challenge***
Just 5 days - starts every Monday morning, will you be on the next one?
For more information and to register click the link
See you on the next challenge!!
A chicken apocalypse in Levin, a furry glove thief in Woolston and a bit of graffiti-proof kiwi ingenuity in Dunedin.
We've found a small selection of goodies from this month that we just couldn't help but share with you all. Click on the titles to see the original posts!
Did you … View moreA chicken apocalypse in Levin, a furry glove thief in Woolston and a bit of graffiti-proof kiwi ingenuity in Dunedin.
We've found a small selection of goodies from this month that we just couldn't help but share with you all. Click on the titles to see the original posts!
Did you know that you can browse posts from neighbourhoods across the country on our Public Notices tab? Any content shared to these public pages are posts that have been made with the "Public Post" box ticked.
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