The Wild Workplace: Navigating the Management Zoo - Day 23
In the bustling offices of Te Ao Solutions, the team was tasked with launching a groundbreaking product. The journey was set to be one of collaboration and creativity, but the workplace was teeming with personalities straight out of a management zoo. Each animal's behavior became a roadblock, threatening the project’s success. The HIPPO Hiria, the CEO, always had the final say. Her Highest Paid Person's Opinion (HIPPO) dominated every meeting. "My instincts say this is the best way," she declared, overriding the carefully researched proposals of her team. Her voice silenced dissent, stalling innovation.
The ZEBRA
Zane, the marketing lead, was Zero Evidence But Really Arrogant (ZEBRA). He strutted around confidently proposing unproven strategies. “We need a viral campaign! Everyone's doing it,” he insisted, ignoring the data that suggested a different approach.
The WOLF
Wai, the project manager, was always on The Latest Fire Working (WOLF). She spent her days chasing crises rather than focusing on the broader project plan. “No time for meetings — we need to fix this bug now! she’d bark, leaving her team scrambling.
The RHINO
Rewi, a senior board member, was Really Here In Name Only (RHINO). Despite his title, he was detached from the project, offering little guidance. “Just let me know when it’s done,” he said, vanishing after every meeting.
The SEAGULL
Sara, the Senior Executive, fit the Seagull archetype perfectly. She glided into meetings unannounced, loudly criticized the team's progress, and then left as abruptly as she came. “Why is this taking so long? Just figure it out!” she squawked before flying off.
The MOUSE
Moana, a junior analyst, had Muddled Opinions, Usually Swayed Easily (MOUSE). In every meeting, she hesitated to voice her thoughts. “I’m not sure,” she often said, changing her stance based on whoever spoke last.
The PARROT
Pete, an intern, was a Pretty Annoying and Ridiculously Repeating Others (PARROT). He echoed every idea shared in meetings without adding any value. “Yes, just like what Hiria said earlier!” he’d chirp repeatedly.
The DONKEY
Dylan, the data specialist, was Data Only, No Knowledge or Expertise (DONKEY). He brought endless spreadsheets to meetings but couldn’t explain what the numbers meant. “I just pull the data,” he’d shrug when asked for insights.
The Turning Point
The project seemed doomed until a new manager, Tia, joined the team. She observed the zoo-like dynamics and decided to bring order. Tia called for a hui (gathering), where she gently but firmly addressed each personality.
-- To Hiria the HIPPO, she said, “Your voice matters, but let’s ensure everyone feels heard.”
-- To Zane the ZEBRA, she advised, “Let’s base our strategies on evidence rather than instinct.”
-- To Wai the WOLF, she suggested, “We need a clear plan to avoid constant firefighting.”
-- To Rewi the RHINO, she said, “Your involvement is crucial for guidance and support.”
-- To Sara the SEAGULL, she remarked, “Your input is valuable, but we need consistency.”
-- To Moana the MOUSE, she encouraged, “Your insights matter—trust your voice.”
-- To Pete the PARROT, she guided, “Contribute original ideas, not just echoes.”
-- To Dylan the DONKEY, she coached, “Turn data into actionable insights for the team.”
Under Tia’s leadership, the team transformed. By recognising and addressing these animalistic tendencies, they began to collaborate harmoniously, leveraging each other’s strengths and working toward a shared goal.
Moral of the Story
In any workplace, recognising and addressing unproductive behaviours is essential. Harmony is achieved when each individual contributes authentically, respects others, and aligns with the common purpose.
NZCCM Massage and English Programmes
The New Zealand College of Chinese Medicine (NZCCM) offers industry-focused Massage and English programmes that prepare students for professional practice.
Students gain strong Anatomy and Physiology knowledge, hands-on experience in the student clinic, and pathways into health and wellbeing careers. NZCCM actively incorporates tikanga Māori and Te Ao Māori, partnering with local marae for cultural learning and community treatments.
As Auckland’s only provider of Massage diplomas, NZCCM is enrolling now for February 2026 Programmes include the Level 5 Wellness and Relaxation Massage Diploma and the Level 6 Remedial Massage Diploma, both NZQA-approved with intensive block courses. NZCCM also offers NZCEL Level 4 for academic English preparation.
Open Days will be held on 12 December and 23 January.
Contact: 09 580 2376 or auck@chinesemedicine.ac.nz
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Night-time roadworks on SH16
From 23 November to 17 December, stop/go traffic management will be in several locations on SH16 between Mabbett Lane and Restall Road (Sundays to Thursdays, 9pm to 5am).
Works will include chipsealing and stormwater improvements. There may be delays to your journey when travelling through the area. Click to find out more.
Poll: Should we be giving the green light to new mining projects? 💰🌲
The Environmental Protection Authority announced this week that a proposed mine in Central Otago (near Cromwell) is about to enter its fast-track assessment process. A final decision could come within six months, and if it’s approved, construction might start as early as mid-2026.
We want to know: Should mining projects like this move ahead?
Keen to dig deeper? Mike White has the scoop.
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53.1% Yes
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46.9% No
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