Point Chevalier, Auckland

11 phrases that will make you more successful in any relationship

Baptist from Avondale

The importance of communication

What you say at work is almost as important as what you do at work. Learn the phrases that will help you sound smarter, more respectful, and ultimately help you succeed at the office.

Cancel meetings with tact

You have to cancel a meeting and come up with a … View moreThe importance of communication

What you say at work is almost as important as what you do at work. Learn the phrases that will help you sound smarter, more respectful, and ultimately help you succeed at the office.

Cancel meetings with tact

You have to cancel a meeting and come up with a reason—or tell the actual reason. Excuses already sound, well, excuse-y, so to validate your behaviour it’s important to choose the right words. Gary Burnison, author of Lose the Resume, Land the Job, reported for CNBC that standard Stanford business practices include being honest whenever possible, and avoiding typical excuses such as “current meeting running late” and “got a fire to put out.” Instead, validate the significance of the missed appointment by saying “I understand how important this is…” or “I’m really sorry but I have to reschedule.” Then quickly move towards potential dates and times when you can make this happen. Setting an example is one of the best ways to build trust with your work colleagues.

Ask the question

Challenge your assumptions about others by asking a question instead of responding with a statement; this can be a powerful argument avoidance strategy in the workplace, according to Mack Shwab, an executive director at the Dale Carnegie Institute. He recommends getting in the mindset to be a more curious person by asking “Why do you think that?” to gain more information about a person’s stance instead of jumping to conclusions. Want to go even further in your career?

Make them think your solution is their idea

In every classic persuasion training, the “winner” has succeeded by making the other person think their solution was the other person’s own idea. Shwab says it’s no different now. To accomplish this, use more questioning strategies to get them to consider multiple points of view such as: “What would be the benefit if we go that way?” and “What would be the benefit to you if that happens?”

“Emphatically” admitting you’re wrong

We’ve all heard the deep significance of apologizing when you are wrong in a relationship. But the Carnegie institute specifically teaches doing so “emphatically.” For example, instead of just saying “I’m sorry,” elaborate a bit to ensure the other party really feels your emotion. You could say, “Hey, I’m really wrong about that and I’m really sorry.” The emphatic nature of this style of apology diffuses the other person more quickly and also creates a culture where it’s safe to admit mistakes. It’s also a best practice to outwardly say you forgive someone, instead of leaving them to wonder where they stand. It’s also key to not sabotage your own apology.

Avoid the “and/or/but” to demonstrate respect

After pursuing the other person’s viewpoint, it’s imperative to avoid the words “and,” “or,” and “but” to ensure the colleague or boss has felt thoroughly heard. Instead, replace these debate-oriented words with a pause and a breath, then say, “that’s an interesting idea. It triggered a thought in my head,” Shwab recommends. His strategy of separating your colleague’s suggestion from your presentation of your own idea demonstrates respect for them.

Kill them with kindness

We all have that colleague, but we don’t have to be that colleague. Using extreme friendliness with the toughest cookie in your department may not change their generally terrible demeanour towards the world, but you may be the person who, as Shwab calls it, “begins in a friendly way.” He compares it to how a dog acts when they can’t wait to see you, complete with the wagging tail. “You will be shocked by the way they change.” Simply starting with “How are you?” and caring can make a difference. You can even attempt small, intentional acts of kindness in your workplace to improve these relationships.

Acknowledge unsolicited advice

A suggestion is defined as an “idea or plan put forward for consideration.” When you receive unsolicited advice at work, responding with “thanks for the suggestion,” will preserve your integrity when you are annoyed and can simultaneously shut down the advice-giver while making them feel somewhat appreciated (maybe both). After all, their idea is out there for your consideration, not your immediate acceptance, right where advice belongs.

Getting to yes

Sometimes negative colleagues or bosses are simply in a sour mental place and used to saying no. You have the power to get them in a “yes” frame of mind before pitching an idea or requesting something through a series of questions about basic facts, Shwab says. He shares an example of trying to sell a widget in a proposal in which others are already against it. Asking a series of yes or no questions to present the positives will lead to more “yes’s.” “For example, you could ask ‘Do you think it will help our customer base?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Do you think the new widget would make us more profitable?’ ‘Yes,’” he said. Then you move into the potential problematic areas discussion with this yes mindset prepared.

A compliment plus a reason

We’ve all given and received meaningless compliments. “That’s amazing.” “Great job.” While they are appreciated, it’s so much more meaningful to demonstrate evidence for the compliment with specifics. To make it sound sincere, Shwab says, “You have to substantiate it with evidence…if you don’t give an example it loses all its teeth.” Being authentic is one of the best ways to give a meaningful compliment.

Repeat it back

Listening and relationship experts encourage reciting back someone’s words, in your own words, to ensure you have understood and to communicate that understanding back to the speaker. This can start simply with “What I hear you saying…” or “What I think you are saying…” and then discrepancies can be corrected from there before proceeding onto the real work. According to the Harvard Business Review, people only ever retain half of what you said, so this can ensure you remember at least that much.

Accept compliments graciously

A thank you with a period is more sincere than a “thank you so much” or an “I really appreciate it.” It’s the classiest way to receive a compliment, without any elaboration, self-deprecation (“Thanks. I didn’t work that long on the presentation.”) It demonstrates confidence and appreciation without cockiness or insecurity.

Train timetable changes on the Western and Onehunga lines

Communications Team from Auckland Transport

On Sunday 17 November, the train timetables for the Western and Onehunga lines will be changing to provide earlier and later services. New timetables are live in Journey Planner and AT Mobile. Follow link for more info: at.govt.nz...

Any work Opportunities

Luke from Mount Albert

Hi There,
My names Luke, I am 20 years old and I am currently on the look out for any work that may be available. I'm happy to do lawn mowing or gardening tasks and things along those lines.
I have had plenty of lawn mowing and gardening experience, aswell as working with children and admin … View moreHi There,
My names Luke, I am 20 years old and I am currently on the look out for any work that may be available. I'm happy to do lawn mowing or gardening tasks and things along those lines.
I have had plenty of lawn mowing and gardening experience, aswell as working with children and admin experience.
Please send me a message for more details about myself.
THANKS

Ports of Auckland hydrogen plant delays won't affect 2020 opening

Stephen Forbes Reporter from Central Leader

Ports of Auckland says it's still on track to open a new hydrogen production and refuelling plant wh…

Read More

Cash for cars - get your wreck off the road!

The Team from AAA Auto Parts

Do you have a vehicle that is taking up space and becoming an eyesore? At AAA Auto Parts we dismantle and wreck cars. We will pay top cash whether your car is dead or alive!

* $300 - $3000 for small cars
* $700 - $10,000 for 4x4 utes, vans, 4WD, trucks and buses
* Same day removal
* Free … View moreDo you have a vehicle that is taking up space and becoming an eyesore? At AAA Auto Parts we dismantle and wreck cars. We will pay top cash whether your car is dead or alive!

* $300 - $3000 for small cars
* $700 - $10,000 for 4x4 utes, vans, 4WD, trucks and buses
* Same day removal
* Free quotes over the phone

We will beat any prices in the market by 10%.

Support your local business.
Give us a call on ** 0800 50 00 01 ** and we will be happy to have a chat. Enquire now

Protesters vow to occupy Auckland's Ōwairaka/Mt Albert 24/7 to block removal of trees

Josephine Franks Reporter from Central Leader

Backyard Banter: Five ways to use old paint

Resene Reporter from Central Leader

Opinion: Using every last drop of your paint cans is about as rare as finishing the shampoo and cond…

Read More

Recipe: Pulled beef and rosemary Bolognese with bulgur and feta - My Food Bag

My Food Bag Reporter from Central Leader

PULLED BEEF AND ROSEMARY BOLOGNESE WITH BULGUR AND FETA Serves 4 Ready in 30 minutes Recipe courte…

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1000 hens bought in online auction for $1.50 parasite-free and ready for new homes

Torika Tokalau Reporter from Central Leader

Poll: Would you pay to use your neighbours' swimming pool?

The Team Reporter from Stuff

People rent out baches, rooms in their houses, their garages and car parking spaces, so surely hiring out swimming pools is the next logical step.

A new app lets people hire their private pools by the hour, but it hasn't come to New Zealand - yet.

To read more, click here.

Would you pay to use your neighbours' swimming pool?

• Yes please!
• No, that's weird.

Vote View Results

• 28.6% Yes please!
  28.6% Complete
• 71.4% No, that's weird.
  71.4% Complete

1561 votes

Together with New Zealand Police we're shutting the gate on rural crime! 🐮❤️

The Team from Neighbourhood Support New Zealand

Learn more about our new rural crime prevention signs, now available for purchase to the public, on our website: neighbourhoodsupport.co.nz or click the 'Read More' link below. 📰

#safercommunitiestogether

Have you had a plant stolen?

Mikaela Wilkes Reporter from Homed

Hi neighbours,

We're to keen to know if pot plant and garden thievery is still a common problem and what people are doing about it.

If you've had a pot plant or something else taken from your garden in the last year and would like to share, could you please email homed@stuff.co.nz … View moreHi neighbours,

We're to keen to know if pot plant and garden thievery is still a common problem and what people are doing about it.

If you've had a pot plant or something else taken from your garden in the last year and would like to share, could you please email homed@stuff.co.nz with your name, your neighbourhood and a quick recap of what was taken and how it happened.

We'd love to hear from you!

Friday Jams: Auckland R&B party's lineup, set times, prohibited items, road closures

Ripu Bhatia Reporter from Central Leader

The R&B party of the year will see Janet Jackson, 50 Cent and The Black Eyed Peas perform at Western Springs next weekend.

Auckland can build rockets - so why can't it afford Santa?

Todd Niall Reporter from Auckland Stuff

Hi Neighbours, Love him or hate him, downtown Auckland's (and briefly Manukau's) 5-storey Santa appears doomed because of cost, after nearly 60 years. Should he be saved, and by whom? Read the story below:

(Please type NFP if your comments are not for print)

Poll: Should the government keep the 90-day tenant eviction notice?

Neighbourly.co.nz

People will have to put up with offensive behaviour from difficult tenants if the government goes ahead with plans to remove the 90-day notice period for evictions. What do you think? Should the government keep the 90-day tenant eviction notice? Vote in the poll below.

Should the government keep the 90-day tenant eviction notice?

• Absolutely - I’ve personally dealt with bad neighbours
• No - tenants could be evicted unfairly
• I don’t have an opinion

Vote View Results

• 80.7% Absolutely - I’ve personally dealt with bad neighbours
  80.7% Complete
• 14% No - tenants could be evicted unfairly
  14% Complete
• 5.3% I don’t have an opinion
  5.3% Complete

1381 votes