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7 practical tips to deal with difficult people in the workplace
It doesn’t matter what you do or how high you go, there’ll be points in your career where you have to work with people who are a bit… tricky. Perhaps they’re terrible at organisation and always miss deadlines. Maybe they’re super knowledgeable, but rubbish at communication. Sometimes … View moreIt doesn’t matter what you do or how high you go, there’ll be points in your career where you have to work with people who are a bit… tricky. Perhaps they’re terrible at organisation and always miss deadlines. Maybe they’re super knowledgeable, but rubbish at communication. Sometimes they’re perfectly fine in nearly all regards, but you just don’t click. These are the people who make work a mind-numbing slog, who refuse to collaborate, who just won’t see things from your perspective, who constantly nit-pick, and on, and on.
As much as we might dream of these types of co-workers deciding to quit their jobs and start new lives far, far away from us, holding on to that hope isn’t a realistic solution. Instead, we need to learn how to work with these difficult people. Helping us through this is workplace expert Salman Raza, who says there are a few things you can do.
1) Try to understand the person’s intentions
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Don’t write off your colleague as someone whose life mission is to annoy you. What else is going on? ‘People are rarely difficult for the sake of it. Try to identify why they are behaving as they are. What is stopping them from cooperating with you? Why aren’t they meeting deadlines? How can you help to resolve the situation? What can you do to meet their needs?’
2) Stay calm and treat them with respect
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‘Losing your temper isn’t the answer and won’t get the desired result. It will in fact ignite their ego and will cause further conflict,’ notes Salman. Try your hardest not to be rude, mean, or petty, even when this person is driving you around the bend. Think about your end goal: you want to get on with your work without all these bumps and snags, not end up in a fight or become a bully – no matter how difficult someone might be.
3) Explain your motives
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Wait a minute – what if they think you’re being difficult to work with? ‘Let the person know your intentions behind what you are doing,’ Salman says. 'Sometimes they might be resistant because they think you are being difficult with them! Giving the full background of why you are doing something, why something is needed by a certain date or why something is happening, might help them empathize with your situation. Showing your vulnerability is a great way to get people on board'.
4) Build rapport
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‘Try to connect with your workmate on a personal level. Get to know them as people, and not just colleagues. Learn more about their hobbies, their family and their lives. Really listen to what they say and try to respond in a thoughtful way. Good personal relationships can foster better working relationships'.
5) Ask other people for help
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Don’t seethe all alone, letting your rage eat away at you. It’s worth chatting with other people to check you’re being reasonable – and see if they have any genius bits of advice to make the working relationship run a bit more smoothly. Certain co-workers may have worked with this difficult person before and worked out the best way to navigate their quirks. ‘Ask your colleagues and managers for help,’ ‘They may be able to see things from a different angle and share some light on how to approach the situation. If appropriate, you can ask a close friend or family member for help as well. You never know if they have been in a similar situation until you ask'.
6) Focus on what can be done
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‘Rather than dwelling on what you can’t change, focus on the actionable steps you can take to forward yourself in the situation,’ ‘For example, if a colleague hands something in late, focus on what you can do to rectify the situation.’ Easier said than done, we know, but try to remind yourself of this as a mantra the next time you’re about to rage about how your colleague has screwed you over yet again.
7) Speak to your boss
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Salman says: ‘When all else fails, speak to your manager. Sometimes, the only way to get someone to change is through someone senior speaking to them'
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Ryman Village Open Days
Friday 18 & Saturday 19 July, 10am - 2pm.
Come and experience the warmth of our Ryman village communities, we'd love to show you around.
Discover our lifestyle and care options, tour our show homes and explore our premium amenities.
How can I cut back on alcohol if I don't want to stop completely?
***Make a list of all the positive reason for stopping or cutting back on your drinking. Make sure they are things that really matter to you.
***Have some alcohol-free nights: Choose certain nights each week when you don’t drink and stick to it. Tell your whānau and friends what nights you’re… View more***Make a list of all the positive reason for stopping or cutting back on your drinking. Make sure they are things that really matter to you.
***Have some alcohol-free nights: Choose certain nights each week when you don’t drink and stick to it. Tell your whānau and friends what nights you’re not drinking and ask them to support you in staying away from the booze.
***Don’t drink at lunchtime or in the afternoon.
***Have a smaller amount, or a version that’s got less (or no) alcohol in it. There are some really good alcohol-free beers and mocktails available.
***Try drinking sparkling water out of a wine glass.
***Drink slowly, if you’re genuinely thirsty have a glass of water before opening the alcohol.
***Alternate an alcoholic drink with a glass of water – try some lemon juice or mint in the water if you like it to taste of something.
***If you get tempted in the early evening (especially after a tough day) try going for a walk or having a piece of fruit instead.
***Have 1 glass with your meal (not before) and don’t keep drinking after dinner.
***Keep a diary of how much you drink, you might be surprised how much it is. Alcohol apps can help you to keep track of your drinking behaviour. Read about alcohol apps.
***Be aware of situations that encourage you to drink alcohol (places, events, people) and steer clear of them if you’re trying not to. You'll find it easier if you do things that don't involve going to the pub or drinking.
***Learn some techniques that help you stay on top of the urge to drink.
***Find out what works for you, such as:
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meditation
talking to a friend and getting some moral support
picking up a new hobby or joining a group
doing some physical exercises
getting engrossed in a crossword/book
plan a trip, a house rearrangement or renovation or a flower bed.
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Poll: What's your take on these policy changes taking effect in July?
Kiwis are bracing for policy changes taking effect in July - these include, changes to rental housing rules, rising GP fees, rising transport fares, and halving Kiwisaver government contribution.
We want to know: What is your take on these changes? Will they impact you and your whanau, or will… View moreKiwis are bracing for policy changes taking effect in July - these include, changes to rental housing rules, rising GP fees, rising transport fares, and halving Kiwisaver government contribution.
We want to know: What is your take on these changes? Will they impact you and your whanau, or will it be business as usual?
Discuss your thoughts below
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17.7% Change is needed! I support
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68.4% ! These changes are heading in the wrong direction !
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13.9% It is complicated ...
I’m Seeking Upright Freezer
Looking for a good condition, 1.4 m or higher, well-maintained, used upright freezer. Message me at 02108496843 if you are selling one
Have you got a great recipe for brussels sprouts?
Kia ora neighbours! We will give away free copies to readers whose recipes are used in our magazine, and we're looking for brussels sprouts recipes right now. Send your family's favourite way to use up this crop, especially if you're lucky enough to grow it in your garden. Email us: … View moreKia ora neighbours! We will give away free copies to readers whose recipes are used in our magazine, and we're looking for brussels sprouts recipes right now. Send your family's favourite way to use up this crop, especially if you're lucky enough to grow it in your garden. Email us: mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, by June 12, 2025.
Auckland police constable Abby Sturgin has been named Miss Universe New Zealand 2025.
Sturgin, 28, was crowned New Zealand’s representative for the international Miss Universe competition on June 24 at SkyCity Theatre.
West Auckland-born and raised Sturgin, who is of Kiwi and Laotian heritage, competed against 11 other finalists.
… View moreSturgin, 28, was crowned New Zealand’s representative for the international Miss Universe competition on June 24 at SkyCity Theatre.
West Auckland-born and raised Sturgin, who is of Kiwi and Laotian heritage, competed against 11 other finalists.
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Police College opened in Auckland
Police is celebrating the opening of the Royal New Zealand Police College (RNZPC) Auckland Campus.
The RNZPC Auckland Campus was formally opened this morning by Police Commissioner Richard Chambers, Minister of Police Mark Mitchell and Associate Minister of Police Casey Costello.
Police … View morePolice is celebrating the opening of the Royal New Zealand Police College (RNZPC) Auckland Campus.
The RNZPC Auckland Campus was formally opened this morning by Police Commissioner Richard Chambers, Minister of Police Mark Mitchell and Associate Minister of Police Casey Costello.
Police Commissioner Richard Chambers says the new facilities leased from Te Kunenga ki Pūrehuroa Massey University allow Police to hold senior training courses and have the added bonus of a recruit wing.
“I have made it clear my expectation is for high standards.
That starts the moment a recruit walks into Police College and continues throughout their policing career.
“To ensure those expectations are met and our front line is supported, ongoing training is essential, and the Auckland Campus will be important for holding our senior courses.
“In recent years we have had to provide more senior courses online and in districts to improve efficiency and to free up space for recruit training at RNZPC in Wellington.
“However, that is not possible for some courses and bringing people together in person is an important opportunity for staff to learn from each other as well.”
Since signing the lease, a huge amount of planning and organisation has gone into making the space fit-for-purpose in time for courses to begin on 30 June.
The first senior course at the Auckland Campus, a Leadership and Development group conference, has begun.
The facility includes multiple classrooms, a locker room, storage space, offices, car parks and dorm rooms.
Police also has access to other facilities including the gym and recreation centre.
RNZPC Auckland is also being used for recruit wing 390 which has 40 recruits.
The Patron for Wing 390 is former Prime Minister, the Rt Hon Sir John Key.
Commissioner Chambers says: “Being away from home for 20 weeks to attend recruit training in Wellington has been a deterrent for some people wanting to join Police.
“Offering training in Auckland is one of the things we can do to attract as many quality applications as possible.
“Aside from appealing to people who live in Auckland, Wing 390 has a large number of recruits from Northland who will be based in the dorms.
"Northland has been one of our priority districts for recruitment and offering training closer to home has been a real drawcard.”
The Auckland recruits will need to spend about five weeks in Porirua for elements of training we cannot do in Auckland, but being able to do the bulk of the course in Auckland gives them their chance at a career they wanted.
“We will consider the possibility of future recruit wings later in the year depending on demand and the schedule for senior courses,” Commissioner Chambers says.
“Having a Police College campus in our largest city is a significant opportunity for us to continue developing world-class police officers and growing our frontline police presence.
“New Zealand Police offers exciting career progression and more than 30 different career paths.
"Whether you’re taking your first steps into the workforce or considering a career change, the best time to apply is right now.”
If you are ready to start your training for one of the most rewarding careers there is, visit newcops.govt.nz to apply today.
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Overseas Kiwis struggle with massive interest, penalties on student loans
In April, interest rates for overseas borrowers were lifted from 3.9% to 4.9% and the late payment interest rate for all borrowers to 8.9%.
Tax barrister Dave Ananth said this is putting people off returning to New Zealand at a time we should be encouraging skilled people to come home.
A pilot … View moreIn April, interest rates for overseas borrowers were lifted from 3.9% to 4.9% and the late payment interest rate for all borrowers to 8.9%.
Tax barrister Dave Ananth said this is putting people off returning to New Zealand at a time we should be encouraging skilled people to come home.
A pilot who's been living in Australia for over 10 years has racked up a whopping $170,000 in student loan debt, most of it being interest.
After completing his training in 2014 he struggled to find work in Aotearoa, so he headed across the ditch, where he worked as a commercial pilot for six years.
When the Covid-19 pandemic hit and overseas travel all but ground to a halt, he was forced to take a low-paying job in a storage warehouse meaning he struggled to meet his loan payments.
The pilot, who RNZ's Checkpoint has agreed not to name, has since resumed flying for a regional carrier, but worried about an uncertain job market and whether he'd ever pay off his loan.
"This loan becomes an ongoing – it becomes a burden and it's not the fact the size of it. There's just no pathway forward as it currently stands."
'I just was deflated'
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Checkpoint also spoke to a woman who was unable to come home to see her sick mother as she was scared, she'd be arrested at the border.
When she moved to the United States 20 years ago, her student loan debt was around $15,000. That had ballooned to close to $70,000.
"When they told me how much penalty fees that I had and that was 10 years ago when I first found out about the penalty fees and that was more than my initial student loan and interest combined, I just was deflated."
She received emails from IRD threatening legal action if she didn't pay, but she said she couldn't afford it.
"You may think, 'oh no, I'm just going to go to a different country and make all my money there'.
"But at some point, in time, when you're older, you're going to want to go back to your roots and see family and friends. I just screwed that up for myself.
"Just don't get yourself in this situation like so many of us have where you can't even go home and see family when they're ill.
"I've been petrified something's going to happen to my mum and she's going to pass away and I'm not even going to be able to go there."
After getting legal help from former IRD prosecutor Dave Ananth, IRD agreed to wipe the penalty fees so she now need only pay the original $15,000 loan and interest.
Ananth, who's a tax barrister with the law firm Stace Hammond, agreed there should be penalties for failure to pay but said these should be looked at on a case-by-case basis.
"A lot of them are telling me I've not heard from IRD for the last 10 years, but IRD's perspective is it's your obligation, you should contact.
"[It's] that sort of 'Who should contact? I'm away, you haven't rung me, there was no emails', that sort of thing. I think both sides need to come to the table."
He also wanted better communication between IRD and the student debtor.
"There should be a bit of leeway to say, 'Hey, OK you come in, but come back and talk to us and see whether a hardship application can be made, whether you can pay a few $100 for a start and then we can see how you go'."
"For a lot of them because the loan has been taken, 15, 20 years ago they've got their head buried in the sand, they don't want to deal with it. So, it creates a lot of anxiety, creates mental stress for a lot of people."
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In the year to March, there were about 80,000 overseas-based student loan borrowers with overdue repayments – that's an increase of 10% on the year before.
In total they owed $2.3 billion
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Ananth said many people had found the grass wasn't greener overseas.
"Everyone doesn't go overseas straight away and then lands in this cushy, $200,000, $300,000 job."
He said people working in healthcare, technology, and engineering should be prioritised to help plug gaps in the job market here.
Border arrests a last resort - IRD
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Inland Revenue said between January 23 and February 7 this year they had emailed 3502 borrowers with overdue repayments telling them they're being monitored, and that enforcement may be taken against them.
That could include being arrested at the New Zealand border.
But it said border arrests were a last resort, and it would work with people before taking legal action. One borrower in default had been arrested in the past year.
IRD said it could consider remission of late payment interest, but on a case-by-case basis.
It said borrowers often did not update their contact details when overseas making it harder for the department to contact them.
The student loan base interest rate was increased by one percent in the 2024 Budget and was intended to partially cover the loss in value of the scheme due to recent high inflation.
IRD did not set the student loan interest or late payment interest rates.
"Student loan interest that has been correctly charged on overseas based borrowers student loan accounts cannot be written off under current legislation, nor can Inland Revenue accept any agreement that voids a borrower's liability to repay this.
"We always encourage student loan borrowers to contact us directly to discuss their situation. There is no need to engage the services of a lawyer."
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Share your winter snaps!
Stunning sunrises, frosty mornings and snowy mountains. There's a lot of beauty to be seen in these winter months.
We’d love to see your corner of the country and what your winter looks like. Share a photo below...
Create Custom Wall Art with Resene Wallpapers & Murals
Using Resene wallpapers or murals as a framed print is a fantastic way to add drama. Create your own wall art using Resene WallPrint or get the custom Wildstyle design made to measure. Find out how to use your favourite Resene wallpaper design as art with these easy step by step instructions.
A Winter Treat for NZ House & Garden Subscribers!
Winter is the season for slowing down – flickering candles, warm interiors, and time to savour life’s little luxuries.
So why not make your winter even more indulgent? … View moreWinter is the season for slowing down – flickering candles, warm interiors, and time to savour life’s little luxuries.
So why not make your winter even more indulgent? Right now, when you subscribe to NZ House & Garden for 1 or 2 years, you’ll receive a FREE Aura Gold Mānuka Honey Radiance Mask from Antipodes – valued at $76
This luxurious mask is made with sustainably sourced mānuka honey and showcases the very best of natural skincare. It hydrates, brightens and restores – a true winter glow-up, inspired by nature.
Treat yourself to a beautiful magazine and a self-care ritual, all in one.
Subscribe now!
From the team at Mags4Gifts
*T&Cs apply. Offer available to the first 200 people who subscribe for 1 or 2 years between June 23–July 28, 2025.
2025 Auckland Family History Expo
Auckland Family History Expo 2025
Tāmaki Huinga Tātai Kōrero
New Zealand Society of Genealogists and its interest group the Genealogical Computing Group proudly present a weekend-long event covering a wide range of topics on researching genealogy and family history.
Join us on Friday 8 … View moreAuckland Family History Expo 2025
Tāmaki Huinga Tātai Kōrero
New Zealand Society of Genealogists and its interest group the Genealogical Computing Group proudly present a weekend-long event covering a wide range of topics on researching genealogy and family history.
Join us on Friday 8 August to Sunday 10 August 2025 at the Fickling Convention Centre , 546 Mt Albert Rd, Three Kings, Auckland
• Friday 8 August 1pm-4pm: Pre-Expo AI Workshop $40 per person - Ancestors Intelligence - Using AI for Family History with Fiona Brooker
Discover how artificial intelligence can support your family history research. In this hands-on session with genealogist Fiona Brooker, learn how to use AI tools to analyse documents, organise your research, and turn your findings into compelling family stories. Bring your laptop along.
• Friday 8 August 5pm-8.30pm: Opening event $40 per person to cover catering expenses and TWO keynote speakers
5pm: Meet and greet reception. Refreshments and canapes.
6pm: Keynote 1: Welcome address. Topic - The "Getting it Right" photos with Sarah Hewitt, chair of the New Zealand Society of Genealogists
Who are the people in the photos that introduce the NZSG’s Getting It Right videos?
Genealogy without Borders with Chris Paton, Scotland's Greatest Story. Irish born Chris Paton As family historians, we can be tempted to try to tell the stories of our ancestors solely from the resources in the areas where they once lived, but in this talk, genealogist Chris Paton examines why the consideration of the extended family around the world can be particularly fruitful for your family history research also. As part of a wider worldwide diaspora, Chris will show how emigrant family members provided him with clues to their stories overseas, often with records that plugged the missing gaps in research for family members back home, and giving him a much broader understanding of his family at both home and abroad.
Book online with Eventfinda:
www.eventfinda.co.nz...
• Saturday 9 August 2025: $5 door charge
• Sunday 10 August 2025: $5 door charge.
Those booking both Friday events get free entry to the Expo on Saturday and Sunday on presentation of their tickets.
Take advantage of our free seminars, from beginner to advanced, computer-based tutorials, ask-an-expert sessions and research assistance on Saturday 9 August and Sunday 10 August. No booking required. Bring your laptops to take full advantage of the workshops and tutorials.
Speakers and sessions
Awesome international speakers appearing in-person at the Expo.
Fabulous local speakers.
Plus many speakers from our favourite family history Vendors.
Please keep checking the New Zealand Society of Genealogists website for updates. Full programme to come soon.
Venue information
Fickling Convention Centre is adjacent to Three Kings Reserve and has some on-street parking on Mt Albert Rd and in side streets. If you are able-bodied we suggest public transport or street parking in surrounding streets. This multi-functional venue is wheelchair-friendly and has accessible toilets.
Over the weekend there will be a coffee van with snacks onsite. There are a couple of cafes and a supermarket nearby, but you may wish to bring a packed lunch with you.
Raffles: Three tickets for $5 – prizes include subscriptions to your favourite genealogy websites, DNA kits, magazine subscriptions, membership fees, and research tools and services.
Would you like to sponsor or donate raffle prizes?
The Auckland Family History Expo committee is still interested in hearing from potential sponsors and raffle donors.
Please contact us if you want to support our Expo. Email the Auckland Family History Expo committee:
Thanks to this year's sponsors
Platinum sponsor: New Zealand Society of Genealogists
Gold sponsors: FamilyTree Maker (MacKiev)
Silver sponsors: Ancestry, FamilySearch, Genealogical Computing Group (GCG)
Bronze sponsor: MyHeritage
Enquiries to: afhexpo@gmail.com
Robyn’s ratatouille recipe is a real crowd pleaser
Ryman resident Robyn swears by her ratatouille recipe from her much-loved copy of the Joy of Cooking, given to her by her next door neighbour in 1964.
Moving to New Zealand in 1976 and with four children to cook for, Robyn said the ratatouille recipe was a firm family favourite which she would … View moreRyman resident Robyn swears by her ratatouille recipe from her much-loved copy of the Joy of Cooking, given to her by her next door neighbour in 1964.
Moving to New Zealand in 1976 and with four children to cook for, Robyn said the ratatouille recipe was a firm family favourite which she would cook up every couple of weeks when the veggies were in season.
Click read more for the recipe.
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