Addictive Eaters Anonymous

The Team from Addictive Eaters Anonymous - Wellington

I didn't know what was wrong with me
Right from a young child I have always loved food; I loved gatherings because of the food. As I got older I would steal food and money to buy food. My life was all about food and if I wasn’t eating, I was thinking about eating and food.

I was very athletic at school and not terribly worried about my weight at that time. It was when I went into high school and the “beach girls” came to our high school that I started looking at the differences. They were brown, thin and seemed to be very popular with the boys. I watched them and what they ate. I started eating what they were eating at school, but would eat as much as possible at home.

I tried to fit in, but wasn’t able to make friends easily. I was obsessed about my weight and food by now and it drove me to exercise and diets. I went on my first diet when I was sixteen years old, I took herbal diet tablets, exercised like a person obsessed and I drank alcohol, smoked cigarettes and drank black coffee to control my weight. I lost five stone and got a lot of compliments about how I looked, but that didn’t stop the self-loathing and madness in my head. It didn’t matter how much weight I lost or how thin I was, I was obsessed about my body, how fat I was and how thin I wanted to be. My self-obsession and food controlled my life, and it was to get much worse as I got older.

I started vomiting to get rid of the food I had eaten; this went on for years, through my pregnancies and well into my thirties. My weight would escalate up and down, but it was my thinking that drove me mad. I hated myself so much. Why couldn’t I just lose weight and keep it off? Why couldn’t I just be like others and eat at coffee shops and still be thin and happy?