Child Welfare

Debbie from Pukekohe

I am a journalist and have dealt with the issue of child welfare and domestic violence for near on decade. Many separated parents contact me with their stories and I am very concerned with what is happening to children in these situations. If someone leaves a marriage because there has been abuse they are typically forced into 50/50 shared care situations (especially if they can't afford lawyers or emotional grief that goes on for years).The mantra is bad partner good parent but this is not the reality and that parent then has free reign to behave badly to their child - legally and the other parent often does not know what is happening when the child is with them. For this reason I have also heard people have been told by social services agencies (being aware that the status quo is 'shared care' and the dangers this puts children in) that they stay in the relationship as they have more control over what happens to their child. If people see or hear a child being treated in an improper manner please report it. It takes a village to raise a child and it takes a village to keep them safe. Similarly I have also had reports of police suggesting to a child they are wrong for not wanting to be with one parent and that legally they will force them to. This is invalidating their experience. A child often does not want to be with one parent because they are behaving badly towards them or abusing them. When a adult says no it is listened to, it should be no different for a child. Please keep kids safe and call the authorities if you see or hear a child being mistreated.