45 days ago

WARNING from an Old Lady....

Alison Neighbourly Lead from Kamo

"An older lady gets pulled over for speeding"...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there e a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Don't Mess With Old Ladies

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More messages from your neighbours
17 hours ago

Smokingfree 2025

Natasha Judd from Cancer Society Northland

Smoking kills more New Zealanders each year than road crashes, suicide, alcohol, other drugs, murder and drowning - all put together.
Let's change this www.parliament.nz...
Sign the petition to reduce the number of shops selling tobacco and help New Zealand reach Smokefree 2025.

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S
16 hours ago

What's On: Julie Mason Trio at Flames

Silke from Tikipunga

Northern Jazz club day with Julie Mason Trio, Julie Mason, vocals/piano, Alberto Santarelli, double bass and Frank Gibson drums, enjoy these Kiwi Jazz Legends, Admission $10 Members,$15 Non-Members, cash only.
Julie Mason Trio at Flames
  • Flames Restaurant & Bar
19 hours ago

SuperSeniors Newsletter - April edition out now!

The Team from Office for Seniors

The latest edition of the SuperSeniors Newsletter is out now!

In this issue Minister for Seniors Ayesha Verrall gives us an overview of the first stage of the vaccine roll-out, Alzheimers NZ talks about making Aotearoa dementia-friendly, and how you can build and maintain physical health through fitness.

There’s also some advice on why Daylight Saving might be making you groggy and what you can do about it.

Check it out and be sure to share!: bit.ly...

Want to subscribe? You can do so here: bit.ly...

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