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Lovely family come over from Chile ,brought their 7 yrs old Border Collie looking dog , which they've had since a puppy. Went missing on 11/11 in Paraparaumu! Please follow on FB 'Come Home Rock '. Doing flyer drops in the area. Distinctive dog, hard to miss. Someone must know … View moreLovely family come over from Chile ,brought their 7 yrs old Border Collie looking dog , which they've had since a puppy. Went missing on 11/11 in Paraparaumu! Please follow on FB 'Come Home Rock '. Doing flyer drops in the area. Distinctive dog, hard to miss. Someone must know something!
Railway workers will be on strike for 24 hours from 2am on Thursday. Passengers are advised to make alternative arrangements or consider not travelling at all.
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If you see Leo can you please call me on 021 499 681. He has recently been involved in a car accident so has trouble walking, and half of his body is shaved after a number of operations.
The key to a successful painting project, is to do the prep well. And to help you get your prep done right first time, Resene has a free cleaners offer for you....
Buy 10L or more of any Resene 10L premium paint, primer or sealer at your local Resene owned ColorShop and we’ll give you your … View moreThe key to a successful painting project, is to do the prep well. And to help you get your prep done right first time, Resene has a free cleaners offer for you....
Buy 10L or more of any Resene 10L premium paint, primer or sealer at your local Resene owned ColorShop and we’ll give you your choice of 4L Resene Moss & Mould Killer, Resene Paint Prep and Housewash, Resene Deep Clean, Resene Roof and Metal Wash, or Resene Timber and Deck Wash $29.90 FREE! Just show this message at your local Resene ColorShop.
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Offer valid until 30 November 2017 or while stocks last. Limit 1 free item per household.
Today the Minister of Education announced the names of 12 young people aged 14-18 years, from across New Zealand to be part of his #YouthAdvisoryGroup for 2018. It's a really fantastic opportunity for them to have their say about decisions that affect them and other young New … View moreToday the Minister of Education announced the names of 12 young people aged 14-18 years, from across New Zealand to be part of his #YouthAdvisoryGroup for 2018. It's a really fantastic opportunity for them to have their say about decisions that affect them and other young New Zealanders.
Did someone from your neighbourhood get in? Check out the link to find out. Thanks to everyone who applied and remember, you can still register for the #OnlineYouthForum and have your say #MyEducationMyVoice
The 4 Agreements of Love
Before you start your end-of-the-day discussion, I’d recommend making some agreements. Agreements are what I use with my clients to bring their unspoken expectations into view.
Agreement #1: Agree on Timing
Some individuals want to connect the moment they walk into… View moreThe 4 Agreements of Love
Before you start your end-of-the-day discussion, I’d recommend making some agreements. Agreements are what I use with my clients to bring their unspoken expectations into view.
Agreement #1: Agree on Timing
Some individuals want to connect the moment they walk into the door. Others need to decompress on their own before they’re ready to interact. When this expectation goes unspoken it can create tension and leave both partners feeling missed by each other. Agree on a time that will meet both of your needs. This can be at 7 pm every night or it can be 10 minutes after both of you get home.
Agreement #2: Dedicate Your Presence for 20-30 Minutes
Some couples struggle because they don’t spend enough time in the presence of each other to allow love to be cultivated. Take time to truly connect during this conversation.
Agreement #3: Don’t Discuss Your Marriage
This talk gives you and your partner the space to discuss about whatever is on your mind outside your marriage. It is not the time to bring up conflicts between you. Instead, it’s a chance to truly support each other in other areas of your life.
This conversation is a form of active listening in which you respond to each other’s venting with empathy and without judgement. Since the issues have nothing to do with the marriage, it’s much easier to express support and understanding of your partner’s worries and stresses.
Agreement #4: All Emotions are Welcome
This conversation is an opportunity to unload about irritants or issues, both big and small. If your partner shares sadness, fear, or anger and it feels uncomfortable, it may be time to explore why. Often this discomfort is rooted in childhood restrictions against expressing negative emotions. If this is the case, check out “Coping with Your Partner’s Sadness, Fear, and Anger” on page 103 in The Seven Principles That Make Marriage Work.
Allow this space to be a place of celebration too. If you have a victory at work or as a parent, mention that. Beyond sharing frustrations, a relationship is about sharing and relishing in the victories of life together. That’s what makes it meaningful.
7 Steps to an Effective End-of-Day Conversation
Below are detailed instructions for using active listening during the stress-reducing and intimacy building conversation.
1. Take turns. Let each partner be the complainer for fifteen minutes.
2. Show Compassion. It’s very easy to let your mind wander, but losing yourself will make your partner feel like you’ve lost touch with them. Stay focused on them. Ask questions to understand. Make eye contact.
3. Don’t provide unsolicited solutions. It’s natural to want to fix problems or make our lover feel better when they express pain. Often partners just want an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. Unless your partner has asked for help, don’t try to fix the problem, change how they feel, or rescue them. Just be present with them.
Men get caught up in this trap more frequently than women, but it is not the man’s responsibility to rescue his partner. Often trying to “save her” backfires. In the Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman noticed that when a wife shares her troubles, she reacts negatively to her husband offering advice right away. What she wants is to be heard and understood.
It’s not that problem-solving doesn’t have it’s place. It is important, but as psychologist Haim Ginott says, “Understanding must precede advice.” It’s only when your partner feels fully understood that they will be receptive to suggestions.
4. Express your understanding and validate emotions. Let your spouse know that you understand what they are saying. Here’s a list of phrases I have my clients use.
“Hearing that makes perfect sense why you’re upset.”
“That sounds terrible.”
“I totally agree with how you see it.”
“I’d be stressed too.”
“That would have hurt my feelings too.”
5. Take your partner’s side. Express support of your partner’s view even if you feel their perspective is unreasonable. If you back the opposition, your spouse will be resentful. When your partner reaches out for emotional support (rather than advice), your role is not to cast judgement or to tell them what to do. It’s your job to express empathy.
6. Adopt a “We against others” attitude. If your partner is feeling alone while facing difficulty, express that you are there with them and you two are in this together.
7. Be Affectionate. Touch is one of the most expressive ways we can love our partners. As your partner talks, hold them or put an arm on their shoulder. Hold that space for them and love them through thick and thin.
Gottman Blog, to read more articles click the link below.
Hello neighbours! Santa is arriving at your local Harvey Norman. Head in store for your FREE 6”x4” photo with Santa between 11am – 2pm this Saturday and Sunday. Plus get your Santa Photo pack - it's the perfect gift for friends, family and...neighbours! … View moreHello neighbours! Santa is arriving at your local Harvey Norman. Head in store for your FREE 6”x4” photo with Santa between 11am – 2pm this Saturday and Sunday. Plus get your Santa Photo pack - it's the perfect gift for friends, family and...neighbours! Find out more about Santa's visit now.
Registrations are open for Cigna Round the Bays 2018! Join over 14,000 participants in Wellington’s largest fun run and walk on Sunday 18 February 2018. Choose from one of the family-friendly 6.5km options, Bluebridge 10km or take on the Cigna Achilles Half Marathon – there’s something for … View moreRegistrations are open for Cigna Round the Bays 2018! Join over 14,000 participants in Wellington’s largest fun run and walk on Sunday 18 February 2018. Choose from one of the family-friendly 6.5km options, Bluebridge 10km or take on the Cigna Achilles Half Marathon – there’s something for everyone!
Don’t miss out on the very special Earlybird offer, register before midnight 30 November and go in the draw to win 2 x return flights to Manila, Bangkok or Ho Chi Minh City with Singapore Airlines!* Enter online today at www.cignaroundthebays.co.nz
*Terms and conditions apply, see website for details.
this cat has just started coming back to my house,its alittle friendly..i have enclosed a closer picture.would really like to know if it has a human family,could be lost?
Queen Slat Bed with Mattress
- Excellent Nearly New Condition
- Frame and Headboard in Dark Brown Mahogany Colour
- Mattress still looks brand new and slats still brand new
- No major dents in bed frame - still in mint condition
- Only used as a guest bed in the spare room but no longer … View moreQueen Slat Bed with Mattress
- Excellent Nearly New Condition
- Frame and Headboard in Dark Brown Mahogany Colour
- Mattress still looks brand new and slats still brand new
- No major dents in bed frame - still in mint condition
- Only used as a guest bed in the spare room but no longer required
Measurements
- 164cm Wide and 215cm Long
In February this year I had a change in circumstances and had to very reluctantly rehome my dog Miley. She is a black and white, foxy/jack russell/heading dog. A beautiful dog with a lovely temperament. A friend spotted her in Stokes Valley and I would absolutely love to hear how she is getting on.… View moreIn February this year I had a change in circumstances and had to very reluctantly rehome my dog Miley. She is a black and white, foxy/jack russell/heading dog. A beautiful dog with a lovely temperament. A friend spotted her in Stokes Valley and I would absolutely love to hear how she is getting on. It was not an easy decision to let her go and I still think of her constantly. It would be great to pass some information on to her new family as well. Not looking to intrude but rather just put my mind at rest. Thanks
Full Curry + Garlic Naan + Garlic Naan only $13.50 Free Delivery orders over $20
Can you help your neighbours survive Christmas?
Whether it’s clever ways to untangle the tinsel, the perfect glossy ham glaze, cheap and cheerful gift ideas, or how to manage an unexpected guest, having a few festive tricks up your sleeve never goes astray.
Spread a little joy by … View moreCan you help your neighbours survive Christmas?
Whether it’s clever ways to untangle the tinsel, the perfect glossy ham glaze, cheap and cheerful gift ideas, or how to manage an unexpected guest, having a few festive tricks up your sleeve never goes astray.
Spread a little joy by sharing a little advice. Simply share your top Christmas Survival Tip (or Tips!) with your neighbours and you could win a $100 SuperValue gift voucher. There’s 10 prizes up for grabs!
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