Well-timed repair attempts are key to success
When you're in a heated argument with your partner, you might feel like you're ready to burst with frustration. But then your partner cracks an inside joke that makes you smile and laugh.
Suddenly you're not as frustrated. Boom, tension defused.
This is a classic "repair attempt" that we encourage couples to use regularly, and humour is one of the most common repairs that couples use when experiencing conflict.
In What Makes Love Last, Dr John Gottman claims that "well-timed repairs are part of the dance between two people who know and trust each other."
Here are some repair attempts that you can use if you are in a conflict with your partner and need an effective way to defuse tension:
Ask your partner, "What do you need?"
Express affection, physically or verbally.
Use humour (but avoid any humour that seems sarcastic or critical)
Take responsibility when appropriate
Understand by expressing empathy
Reinforce "we-ness" by complimenting your relationship overall
Using these kinds of repair attempts will shut down many confrontations and train you to be more aware of each other's needs. They aren't a quick fix to recurring problems, but repair attempts can prevent negative behaviour and feelings from overwhelming a relationship.
Scam Alert: Fake information regarding December Bonuses from MSD
The Ministry of Social Development is reporting that fake information is circulating about new ‘December bonuses’ or ‘benefit increases’
If you get suspicious communication, please contact Netsafe.
Further important update to all Neighbourly members
Dear Neighbours,
We wanted to update you with what we have uncovered in regards to the potential Neighbourly data breach which we were alerted to on Thursday January 1.
Over the past few days we have worked to understand whether our members’ data had been accessed without authorisation and, if so, the extent of the breach.
We have now confirmed that there was a breach of some data from our registered users. We are now satisfied that the breach was quickly contained, and we have restored the Neighbourly site and services.
Our investigations have shown that there was unauthorised access of Neighbourly data, which included our registered members’ names, email addresses, GPS coordinates, forum posts and member communications. It did not include passwords but some publicly advertised event and business addresses were included.
Following best practice, we will look to seek a court injunction against any use of the material.
We want to apologise to our members for this occurrence and any concerns it may have caused you over the past few days. We have, of course, addressed the issue that allowed the theft to occur, and we are satisfied that the site is secure for use by all of our members. We will work closely with all our staff to ensure we have the most robust processes in place to prevent it from happening again.
Thank you to our members who contacted us over this period and for the understanding you have shown as we work through the complex issues associated with cyber theft.
Q&A regarding Neighbourly data breach
The Team at Neighbourly
A Craft a Day: Simple Projects Using Pegs, Sticks & Resene Testpots
A craft project a day keeps the boredom away. Entertain kids with these easy arts and crafts projects using pegs, ice block sticks and Resene testpots. Find out how to create and paint your own peg crafts with these easy step by step instructions.
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