A growing trend that couples are just too tired for sex. How to revive your sex life!
There is a growing trend that most couples in long term relationships are too tired for sex.
There are many reasons for this, including physical and emotional stress from our ever increasing busy schedules, leaving less relationship and family time and our insatiable desire to be connected with others via technology.
While it’s quite common to have a reduced frequency in sex after a few years of being in a long term relationship, sex continuously plays an important part in any relationship.
Sex is important on many levels because:
It increases your self-esteem and overall well-being
It re-establishes your relationship bond very time you have sex.
It helps you to feel safe and secure.
It’s a natural mood enhancer and antidepressant
It allows you to relax, open up and confidentially trust your partner.
How you revive your sex life with your partner
There’s no rule on how often couples should be having sex. It’s about talking and working out together what’s going work for you both and your lifestyle.
Some couples are fine with once a week, others once a month and others need more frequent intimacy.
John Gottman PHD, famous couple’s researcher says “every positive thing you do in your relationship is foreplay”, so if you can be more aware and develop this mind-set, then this may help you prepare the ground for more opportunities for sex.
Attempt to go to bed at the same time and get out of bed at the same time, so you’re on the same schedule.
If you can’t go to bed together, go tuck in the other partner in- this is a good opportunity to increase connection.
Leave the technology out of the bedroom.
Schedule non-sexual touching, cuddling and talk about what’s going on in your life.
Do positive things for your partner without asking, so there is more time for the two of you.
Even when life is so busy and demanding, it’s really important to plan in ‘connection time’.
This very important connection time is often pre- cursor to having more sex, because it increases your connection and increases your sense of safety and care in the relationship.
Scam Alert: Fake information regarding December Bonuses from MSD
The Ministry of Social Development is reporting that fake information is circulating about new ‘December bonuses’ or ‘benefit increases’
If you get suspicious communication, please contact Netsafe.
Poll: Do you set New Year’s resolutions?
🎉 2026 is almost here!
We’re curious ... how do you welcome it?
Do you set resolutions, follow special traditions, or just go with the flow?
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10% Yes! New Year, New Me
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16.9% Yes - but I rarely stick to them
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73.1% Nah - not for me
Update to Neighbourly members on data breach 06/01/2025 8am
Yesterday in the High Court at Auckland, Neighbourly was successful in being granted an injunction against any unauthorised use of the data taken in a recent breach.
As we alerted you on January 1 and confirmed on January 3, our systems were accessed illegally and members’ information, including names, email addresses, GPS coordinates from the address you provided to us, forum posts and direct member communications were among the data that was accessed.
We acted immediately upon hearing of a potential breach: we temporarily disabled the site, notified members and authorities and worked with our external security consultants to understand if and how it had occurred. We then confirmed the breach with members, safely restored the site to service and began the process of seeking the injunction. Yesterday’s decision by Justice Johnstone prohibits the use of the data by any unauthorised person, and requires them to permanently delete it, or any information obtained from it.
This does not mean that vigilance against scammers is not still required: there is a large industry globally that seeks to use stolen information for identity fraud or to dupe people into providing details of their financial affairs for theft. Again, to keep yourself safe from scammers it is critical that you:
- Don’t click links in emails. Instead, type the web address directly into your browser. This helps ensure you’re visiting a real site, not a fake one
- Enable two-factor authentication where available as this adds an extra layer of security to your data
- Stay alert for phishing emails. Be cautious of unexpected emails asking for personal information, especially ones that create a sense of urgency.
Again, we want to apologise to you for this illegal access to the Neighbourly database and to assure you that we have carefully worked through how this occurred. We have safely secured the site and its services for use and ensured we have robust processes in place so this cannot happen again.
We are continuing to work with the relevant authorities, including the National Cyber Security Centre, on any further steps we need to take.
If you have any further questions please contact us via our customer support team at helpdesk@neighbourly.co.nz.
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