2801 days ago

If you're hurting, the world stops and I listen

Ann from Relationship Wellbeing Specialist

One of The Four Horsemen is defensiveness, which is an attempt to ward off a perceived attack.

“It’s not my fault that we’re always late.”

When we feel accused unjustly, we fish for excuses so that our partner will back off. Unfortunately, this strategy isn't very effective.

That's because defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner. You’re saying, in effect, “The problem isn’t me, it’s you.”

Instead, take responsibility for your words or actions that upset your partner. This opens the door to repair and reconnection.

“Well, you’re right. Part of this is my fault – I need to do a better job managing my time.”

Couples who are successful adopt the motto that, "If you’re hurting, the world stops and I listen. I’m with you."

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More messages from your neighbours
5 days ago

Neighbourhood Challenge: Who Can Crack This One? ⛓️‍💥❔

The Riddler from The Neighbourly Riddler

What has a head but no brain?

Do you think you know the answer? Simply 'Like' this post if you know the answer and the big reveal will be posted in the comments at 2pm on the day!

Want to stop seeing these in your newsfeed?
Head here and hover on the Following button on the top right of the page (and it will show Unfollow) and then click it. If it is giving you the option to Follow, then you've successfully unfollowed the Riddles page.

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S
8 hours ago

Speed limits around NaeNae

Susan from Naenae

Hi Neighbors, Just a heads up, I have just received a $170 fine for driving at 50km on Rata Street Naenae on a SUNDAY Morning. I wrote to NZTA pointing out and sending in a photo of sign stating that it was 30km on school days between those hours, but they said that the whole of Rata Street and some surrounding streets are 30km 24/7 and have been for over a year. Did I miss this been advised by council? Always good to be informed. Merry Christmas to all

27 days ago

Some Choice News!

Kia pai from Sharing the Good Stuff

Many New Zealand gardens aren’t seeing as many monarch butterflies fluttering around their swan plants and flower beds these days — the hungry Asian paper wasp has been taking its toll.

Thanks to people like Alan Baldick, who’s made it his mission to protect the monarch, his neighbours still get to enjoy these beautiful butterflies in their own backyards.

Thinking about planting something to invite more butterflies, bees, and birds into your garden?

Thanks for your mahi, Alan! We hope this brings a smile!

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