2650 days ago

The 1 to 9 Couples Sex Scale

Ann from Relationship Wellbeing Specialist

A lot of couples are uncomfortable talking about how to initiate and refuse sex.

It's also difficult to cope with being turned down.

The key to making “yes” and “no” feel less loaded is to have an agreed-upon ritual in your relationship for navigating sex.

Noted sex therapist Lonnie Barbach suggests that couples use a scale from 1 to 9 to indicate how amorous each of them is feeling, with 1 meaning “Not at all,” 5 meaning “I’m convince-able,” and 9 meaning “Let’s do it!”

So, if your partner initiates and you’re not in the mood, you can say, “I love you, and right now I’m a 1.” If you’re not sure, you could say, “Right now I’m a 5. Let’s kiss and see where it goes.”

The more you can hear, understand, and respect your partner’s “no” about any marital issue, the more “yes” there will be in your relationship.


www.gottman.com...

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More messages from your neighbours
1 day ago

Poll: Is it ok to regift something that you have been given?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

🎁 Holiday Gift Chat!

Do you ever regift?
What’s your take on asking for a receipt if a gift doesn’t fit?

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Is it ok to regift something that you have been given?
  • 78.3% Yes! It's better to regift what I don't need
    78.3% Complete
  • 21.7% No. It's the thought and effort that matters
    21.7% Complete
387 votes
29 days ago

Some Choice News!

Kia pai from Sharing the Good Stuff

Many New Zealand gardens aren’t seeing as many monarch butterflies fluttering around their swan plants and flower beds these days — the hungry Asian paper wasp has been taking its toll.

Thanks to people like Alan Baldick, who’s made it his mission to protect the monarch, his neighbours still get to enjoy these beautiful butterflies in their own backyards.

Thinking about planting something to invite more butterflies, bees, and birds into your garden?

Thanks for your mahi, Alan! We hope this brings a smile!

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S
1 day ago

Speed limits around NaeNae

Susan from Naenae

Hi Neighbors, Just a heads up, I have just received a $170 fine for driving at 50km on Rata Street Naenae on a SUNDAY Morning. I wrote to NZTA pointing out and sending in a photo of sign stating that it was 30km on school days between those hours, but they said that the whole of Rata Street and some surrounding streets are 30km 24/7 and have been for over a year. Did I miss this been advised by council? Always good to be informed. Merry Christmas to all