31 days ago

Tuesday's Funny: 😄👴Old Man & Woman🧓😄

Fiona from Henderson

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other.

Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

Neighbours feared him. They believed he practiced magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighbourhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared.

To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.
His wife had a closed casket at the wake.
After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow.

Her neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"

The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down, and you know men won't ask for directions."

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More messages from your neighbours
4 days ago

LOCKDOWN

Linda from Henderson

UNBELIEVABLE!!. When is this ever going to end? Come November 1st, no doubt there will still be ongoing restrictions to our freedom.
What I resent so much, is that those of us who have been vacccinated for months, played the game, did every thing we were meant to, and still we are locked down.
All these Govt. promises that when Auckland reaches 90% vaccination we will have more freedom. What a joke. 89% vacccinated, how can it take until 1st November to vaccinate 1%.
I am so angry at all these months of being dictated to as to how I can live my life. Or not live it, might be more accurate!

3 days ago

😷😷Please wear your mask😷😷

Fiona from Henderson

Sadly, we've reached a new high of positive Covid results today, absolutely shocking and so very disappointing.
We've all read the posters telling us to wear our mask (and social distance) since way back when all of this Covid stuff started.
We've all heard the various Government departments and media platforms telling us the exact same message, hell even our leader has told us to do this almost on a daily message as so many people just haven't got the message yet.
And yet ... so many people won't because they can't be bothered or they will refuse to do so spouting this, that or the other.
Now, unless they are medically signed off proving that they can't wear a mask for medial reasons, there is absolute no reason whatsoever for them to not be wearing a mask
Also, if they are wearing a mask - there are those who are wearing it incorrectly which is in effect a waste of time wearing one then.
We are all clever enough to know that wearing a mask will not stop the virus, but it sure as hell will slow down the transmission of it between each other.
The masks are to protect each other, your family, my family, everyone's family.
I have included a couple of pics to remind all of us how to wear the mask correctly, even one for the cat lovers - lol
While I'm here, when you dispose of the masks, please, PLEASE dispose of them correctly.
I'm fed up seeing them disposed of all over the place now e.g. gutters, people's gardens, thrown out of the car windows etc ... replacing the takeaways rubbish we used to see before lockdown.
Those poor people who have to come up behind you and pick them up, putting their lives at risk, all because you were too lazy to put your mask in the rubbish bin.
PLEASE dispose of them correctly in the rubbish bins and don't forget to sanitise your hands afterwards.
😷 😷 😷 😷 😷 😷 😷

5 hours ago

Aotearoa, it's time to enjoy the sleep you deserve!

Beds 4 U Henderson

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Your Local Sleep Experts

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