1978 days ago

๐ŸŒง๐Ÿ˜„We all need a giggle on a rainy day๐Ÿ˜„๐ŸŒง

Fiona from Henderson

WARNING TO LADIES OF A CERTAIN AGE!!
You've no doubt heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago.
I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs.
It was just that quick.
The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal.
Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?
I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.
Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.

And then the thieves struck again.

My bottom was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier.
But my new bottom was attached at least three inches lower than my original!
I realised I'd have to give up my jeans in favour of long skirts.

Two years ago I realised my arms had been switched.
One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush.

This was really getting scary; my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story.

Women of the world wake up and smell the coffee!
Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me!
The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again, was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX.
This is happening to women everywhere every night.
WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P. S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

I thought this was too important not to pass on.
Have a wonderful day with a joy filled heart.
Always remember to laugh!! It helps the heart AND the wrinkles!!

P.P.S. Those same thieves just came into my closet and shrank my clothes!
How do they do that?

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More messages from your neighbours
4 days ago

Neighbourhood Challenge: Who Can Crack This One? โ›“๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’ฅโ”

The Riddler from The Neighbourly Riddler

What has a head but no brain?

Do you think you know the answer? Simply 'Like' this post if you know the answer and the big reveal will be posted in the comments at 2pm on the day!

Want to stop seeing these in your newsfeed?
Head here and hover on the Following button on the top right of the page (and it will show Unfollow) and then click it. If it is giving you the option to Follow, then you've successfully unfollowed the Riddles page.

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34 minutes ago

Boxing Day Alert! Grab a Mattress That Feels Out of This World

Beds4U - Henderson

Ever wondered what itโ€™s like to sleep on a mattress designed by NASA? Tempur started in space, and now itโ€™s here to give you next-level comfort right at home!

Imagine a mattress that cradles every curve, reduces pressure, blocks your partnerโ€™s tossing and turning, and lasts for years. Side sleeper, back sleeper, or somewhere in between - thereโ€™s a Tempur just for you.

Even better? Perfect timing! Our Boxing Day Sale is happening now! Itโ€™s the perfect chance to grab your dream mattress and upgrade your sleep before the year ends.

Find your nearest Beds4U store: beds4u.co.nz...
Browse all Boxing Day deals: beds4u.co.nz...

Want to learn more about Tempur mattresses before you buy? Check out our guide here: beds4u.co.nz...

Neighbours, your dream bed is waiting - donโ€™t let another sleepless night pass!

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1 day ago

Poll: ๐Ÿ—‘๏ธ Would you be keen to switch to a fortnightly rubbish collection, or do you prefer things as they are?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

Aucklanders, our weekly rubbish collections are staying after councillors voted to scrap a proposed trial of fortnightly pick-ups.

We want to hear from you: would you be keen to switch to a fortnightly rubbish collection, or do you prefer things as they are?

Keen for the details? Read up about the scrapped collection trial here.

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๐Ÿ—‘๏ธ Would you be keen to switch to a fortnightly rubbish collection, or do you prefer things as they are?
  • 83.3% Same!
    83.3% Complete
  • 16.7% Would have liked to try something different
    16.7% Complete
209 votes