1558 days ago

Wednesday's funny: 😄🏪Kmart Interview🏪 😄

Fiona from Henderson

Jennifer, a manager at Kmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening.

After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified.
Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

The first man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning."

"That's very good!" replied Jennifer. "And now you sir," she asked the second man.

"Hmmm... let me see... A BLINK! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

“Excellent!" said Jennifer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed." She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out at my dad's farm, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man. “It's hard to beat the speed of light," she said.

Turning to Ernest, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.

Old Ernest replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT?" said Jennifer, stunned by the response.

"Oh sure," said Ernest. "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already popped my pants."

Ernest is the new greeter at the Kmart near you!

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More messages from your neighbours
10 days ago

Poll: 🗑️ Would you be keen to switch to a fortnightly rubbish collection, or do you prefer things as they are?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

Aucklanders, our weekly rubbish collections are staying after councillors voted to scrap a proposed trial of fortnightly pick-ups.

We want to hear from you: would you be keen to switch to a fortnightly rubbish collection, or do you prefer things as they are?

Keen for the details? Read up about the scrapped collection trial here.

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🗑️ Would you be keen to switch to a fortnightly rubbish collection, or do you prefer things as they are?
  • 85% Same!
    85% Complete
  • 15% Would have liked to try something different
    15% Complete
506 votes
J
4 hours ago

Elvis in the Park

Jackie from Titirangi

Elvis in the Park. 11th January from 11am till 5pm. Cranwell Park in Henderson. Free Family day out. Check out the Classic Cars and Hot Rods. Bring your chairs, sun tan lotion, water, and your smile. We are celebrating Elvis' 91st Birthday. Any questions ph Jackie 0274901126. Park at Tui Glen as easy walk over bridge to Cranwell Park

7 days ago

Poll: Is it ok to regift something that you have been given?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

🎁 Holiday Gift Chat!

Do you ever regift?
What’s your take on asking for a receipt if a gift doesn’t fit?

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Is it ok to regift something that you have been given?
  • 78.7% Yes! It's better to regift what I don't need
    78.7% Complete
  • 21.3% No. It's the thought and effort that matters
    21.3% Complete
1214 votes