A Lesson on being a Sports Parent
This incident happened on Saturday, 12 June, a J5 game of rugby, Glenfield vs Mahurangi (Warkworth).... I posted on the Mahurangi rugby facebook page but of course they quickly took it down for obvious reasons as you will read:
At the end of our son’s rugby game, a Mother came charging at my son (age 8), towered over him and told him off for how he played against her son. She didn’t like it - yet it was all legal play. When this Mother came charging at him, finger pointing and all - my son broke down sobbing. A Grandma, whose grandson plays on the same team as my son saw what was going on, rushed over, grabbed him and while hugging my son tightly she exchanged a few heated words with this Mother.
Meanwhile I was on the other side of the field and seeing what I thought was happening I strode over as a raging Lioness.
I did not swear to this Mother - as that is not the example of adult behaviour I want to set for the children around.
I did not make threats to this Mother, as to why she couldn’t have approached the Parent rather than attack a child to resolve her obvious frustration.
But I raised my voice for all to hear to point out that this is not the type of sportsmanship we should be displaying to our children.
It is not ok for another parent to run down into sobbing tears another child! Kids have come to play to have fun and learn what it means to be a good team player.
Parents - if you don’t like to see your child being tackled, rammed over, pushed and shoved - all legally, then you need to check yourself and stay away from the kids games. When your child cries because he was pushed or shoved then you empower them by encouragement showing love and to be strong but not turnaround and go after the child that played him.
To the Mother who came at my child….Did you think that I would allow you to treat my child in such a manner? Therefore unravelling my parenting of teaching him to respect all? you belittled him in front of other children and parents, so did you really think I would just stand back and allow your actions to be tolerated?
You do not know of the sensitivity and low self esteem of my child which we work hard to build on day after day… You do not know our son has been diagnosed with APD and that this is his first time ever playing rugby so this is a big deal for him! You came after a child and did not consider his make-up and the damage you may have caused, all because you could not handle seeing your child being schooled in rugby.
Why then did you try to blend in with your crowd of supporters when you heard me singing (roaring) about your despicable behaviour and not come at me the way you came at my child?
You are a Mother…. I too am a Mother …. I could have reacted differently I could have justifiably reacted quite violently but that is not my make-up. I would never lower my crown to such a low level and then how would that impact on your child?
Your behaviour did not give me the chance to calm myself down and think rationally on how to approach this situation especially when you rampaged at my son.
I hope you learn from this incident, I hope you do not react like this in future games because I can’t guarantee another Mother would not react non-violently to how you broke my son down.
Next time, approach adult to adult not adult to child. We want to be great examples to our Tamariki they deserve that much!
I will continue to teach and raise my son to become a man to respect all. To become a man who will not allow this incident scar him from the kiwi game of rugby. I will remind him to handle such matters where he is to ask them to STOP, WALK away and TELL someone. I will continue to teach him to be strong and never let anyone tell him he is a failure! He will be strong to face all that life will come at him, why? because he is being raised by a strong phenomenal Queen of a Mother who will support her child - in the best way that will empower him and his team mates!
Poll: Would you want an unconventional funeral?
Funerals can cost as much as $22,000 and the planning can be stressful especially at a time when loved ones are grieving. Some New Zealanders are re-imagining funerals by making their own coffin or having a relaxed ceremony at home. Would you want a less traditional funeral? Share your thoughts below.
Type 'Not For Print' if you wish your comments to be excluded from the Conversations column of your local paper.
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85.3% Yes
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12.9% No
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1.8% Other - I'll share below!
Celebrating Our Resident Authors On World Book Day
It was World Book Day on the 23rd of April, so what better time to celebrate some of our talented residents who have published books.
They range from children’s books, to poems, from non-fiction to a first novel - and all are proof that there is no age limit when it comes to creativity!
Click read more for the full story.
Poll: Who is the 2024 Prospa Local Business Hero?
It's clear that small businesses can really be the backbone of a community. It’s been a joy to read the Prospa Local Business Hero nominations from around the country and we’ve now decided upon eight finalists.
With $10,000 worth of prizes up for grabs, it's up to you to decide who deserves the title of 2024 Prospa Local Business Hero.
So have a read of the nominations below and cast your vote...
Mary & Sam Danielson - The Puketapu Hotel
Hawkes Bay
'On Feb 14, 2023, Cyclone Gabrielle flooded many of the rural areas. Puketapu Hotel went under perhaps half a meter of water. However, immediately Mary Danielson and her son, Sam Danielson, along with their loyal staff pulled it together to cook copious amounts of food that without electricity would have been wasted. Throughout the years many of us have been treated with a pub gathering where we can reconnect and a free meal. At Christmas there was Santa, games, gifts for kids, donated patchwork for adults, an ice cream truck and lots of camaraderie.
This February on the cyclone anniversary, they again pulled out the stops to give hundreds of us a special night. We are all tired of the cyclone cleanup and they understood that it was needed.'
Ian Harvey (& Des Banks) - Flower Bazaar
Christchurch
'I'd like to nominate my local florist, Ian and Des at Flower Bazaar on Innes Rd, Chirstchurch. The friendliest guys you could meet, always supporting their fellow retailers in the area and going above and beyond for their customers. They know my family well, and when my mother sadly passed away last July they even went out of their way to close the shop and come to her memorial service. With cost of living issues for a lot of us nowadays, it can't be easy for small businesses, especially those not selling everyday essentials. It's important we support each other and keep these little guys afloat. I can't sing their praises enough. I hope they win something, they really do deserve it.'
Vivienne Shepherd - The Glass Button Tailor
Whangārei
'The proprietor of this business is so kind. She will come to your home or business to discuss your need for repairs alterations or bespoke requirement. As it is often impossible to give a quote for work to do with tailoring she will give a guesstimate, if her time exceed this figure, she will charge that figure no more. But if the work takes less time, this will be the figure. Also, a client who eventually came to Vivienne had taken, a dress she very much liked, to another repair and alteration business who messed it up. Vivienne adjusted to fit well, straightened the one to straight back seam as well as other adjustments. She spent hours on it but charged well less than this time, due to empathy for the disappointment created by the bad job. Vivienne Shepherd is truly focused on doing the best by her clients. She definitely pursues excellence.'
Aaron Hickmott - Master of Gingerbread
Palmerston North
'He consistently turns out a wide range of biscuits on the shelves in both standard AND gluten free versions - he's our go-to when we need a treat to take to dinner at a longtime friend's place who requires gluten free food. His specialty is gingerbread of course and he sells Gingerbread House kitsets to people all over NZ!
The shop is small but inviting and he keeps loyalty cards for regular customers, bonus treats! I only found out recently that he struggled with dyslexia and left school early, but is a born baker and has gone from strength to strength. Long may he practice his craft!'
Alicia Sinclair & the Team - Atawhai Industries
New Plymouth
'Definitely Atawhai Industries New Plymouth. Great crew and management. Prompt service, experienced skilled workers who are cheerful and polite. I was very impressed with the dangerous job they had to do for me and will definitely be calling them for future work. They do so much for the community and help get work for people who would otherwise have difficulties.'
Jitesh Patel - Creswick Foodmarket
Wellington
'I'd like to nominate Jitesh & Hine at Creswick Foodmarket, Northland. Their tidy shop has everything one might need. And if what I am looking for is not there, they consider bringing it in for me. This avoids a lot of travelling across town for me. They also are very community-minded, contributing quietly to events and kids club. I'm glad they are in my community.'
Nicola Read & Team - Read Bros - Hardware
Thames
'I'd like to nominate Read Bros in Thames. The staff are so knowledgeable and helpful. If it's not in stock they will order it in for you. There you get treated as a person, rather than a number.'
Paul Ayers - Ayers Shoes Repairs
Dunedin
'I'd like to nominate Ayers Shoe Repairs in Hillside Road of Dunedin. They repair many things, not just shoes. Paul does a great job at a very reasonable price. They rang me as soon as my job was ready to collect. They are friendly and helpful.'
Vote for your pick in the poll below...
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43.4% Mary & Sam Danielson - The Puketapu Hotel
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10.7% Ian Harvey - Flower Bazaar
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6.3% Vivienne Shepherd - The Glass Button Tailor
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14.5% Aaron Hickmott - Master of Gingerbread
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6.3% The Team - Atawhai Industries
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6.3% Jitesh Patel - Creswick Foodmarket
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2.5% Nicola Read & Team - Read Bros Hardware
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10.1% Paul Ayers - Ayers Shoes Repairs
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