Solicitor in court cross examination ..
Seeing as we are still stuck at home and I have a captive audience I thought I might as well hit you with this :
A farmer named Paddy had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company.
In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy.
'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor?
Paddy responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... '
'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'
Paddy said, 'Well, I'd just got Bessie into da trailer and I was drivin' down da road.... '
The solicitor interrupted again and said, ‘Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. '
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Paddy's answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie'.
Paddy thanked the Judge and proceeded.’ Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my fav'rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin' her down de road when this huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moanin' and groanin'. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.
Shortly after da accident, a policeman turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin' and groanin' too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feelin'?'
'Now wot would you say?'
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Poll: Are Kiwis allergic to “exuberance”? 🥝
In The Post’s opinion piece on the developments set to open across Aotearoa in 2026, John Coop suggests that, as a nation, we’re “allergic to exuberance.”
We want to know: Are we really allergic to showing our excitement?
Is it time to lean into a more optimistic view of the place we call home? As big projects take shape and new opportunities emerge, perhaps it’s worth asking whether a little more confidence (and enthusiasm!) could do us some good.
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41.3% Yes
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32.8% Maybe?
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25.9% No
Police urge caution on Southland beaches
As the weather warms up and Southlanders begin flocking to the beach, Police are reminding people of an important fact – beaches are roads and need to be treated as such.
Senior Sergeant Scott MacKenzie, Southland Area Road Policing Manager, says while it is legal to drive on Oreti Beach, you still need to adhere to the road rules.
“The beach has a speed limit of 30k/h – there is no excuse to be over this limit.
The days are getting warmer and with school holidays it can be expected that a lot of families with small children and animals will be heading to the beach to enjoy the sun."
“Anyone driving on the beach needs to be mindful of this, and stay focused on your surroundings,” he says.
The risks of injury or worse, to yourself or others, are just the same as on traditional roads.
Senior Sergeant MacKenzie also reminds beach goers that any form of antisocial road-user behaviour will not be tolerated.
“Some people seem to think that road rules don’t apply to you when on the beach – this is not the case.
Antisocial driving behaviour is unacceptable, on and off the beach, and we encourage the community to report the driving behaviour immediately."
“It is best to make a report while the incident is occurring to allow our staff the opportunity to respond immediately and hopefully disrupt any offenders in the act.
Please take note of as much detail as possible, such as registration number of the vehicle, any identifying features of the vehicle and its driver, or even take a video of the driving behaviour if safe to do so,” he says.
You can report information to us by calling 111 if it is happening now, or through 105 for non-emergencies.
Alternatively, you can report information anonymously through Crime Stoppers on 0800 555 111.
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