How to be a great listener

Ann from Relationship Wellbeing Specialist

Listening is an essential part of building love and trust between partners. You can become a great listener - it's an acquired skill. Here's how in three steps.

1. Commit
Shift the focus away from yourself and postpone your own agenda as you tune into your partner’s world. It's not about being interesting, it's about being interested.

2. Attune
It's your job as a listener to be present with your partner. Do not minimize their feelings. Do not try to make them feel better. Your goal is just to understand. You can do this by asking open-ended questions and by avoiding judgment.

3. Witness
A powerful way to be there for your partner is to repeat back what you heard in your own words. For example: “I hear you saying that you really miss the times we used to go out for dinner and a movie. I understand that. I miss those times, too.” Don't problem solve.

Great listening leads to intimate conversation.

Action for this week: Ask your partner, "What are your concerns right now?"