WARNING from an Old Lady....
"An older lady gets pulled over for speeding"...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there e a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Don't Mess With Old Ladies
Poll: Does the building consent process need to change?
We definitely need homes that are fit to live in but there are often frustrations when it comes to getting consent to modify your own home.
Do you think changes need made to the current process for building consent? Share your thoughts below.
Type 'Not For Print' if you wish your comments to be excluded from the Conversations column of your local paper.
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91.4% Yes
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8.2% No
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0.4% Other - I'll share below!
Lest we forget...
On this ANZAC Day, let's take a moment to remember and honor the brave men and women who have served and continue to serve our country.
Tell us who are you honouring today. Whether it's a story from the battlefield or a memory of a family member who fought in the war, we'd love you to share your stories below.
Food and product recalls
These items have been recalled during the last month. If you have any of these items at home, click on the title to see the details:
Product recalls
Avanti, Malvern Star & Raleigh bicycles
Yoto Kids Speaker
Anko Kids Pyjamas
Battery drill chainsaw attachment
Industrial pedestal misting fan
Yamaha adaptor
Zero Tower safety harness
Naturacoco moisturising cream
Thule child bike seat
Food recalls:
Maketū pies mussel pie
The Catering Studio cottage pie
Matakana Smokehouse gravlax/salmon
Our Fruit Box fruit juices
ProLife Foods value packs - nuts, raisins.
YY Dumplings & Fu Yuan ready-to-eat meat products
Waiheke Herbs italian herb spread
We hope this message was helpful in keeping your household safe.