Piha - Karekare, Piha

23 days ago

Monday's Funny: 😄🍞One for the boys🍞😄

Fiona from Henderson

A Navy Master Chief's wife sends a text to the Master Chief saying, “Honey, don't forget to buy some bread when you come home from work and your girlfriend Valerie says hi.”

The Master Chief texted back, "Who's Valerie?!"

The wife answered, "Nobody, I just wanted… View more
A Navy Master Chief's wife sends a text to the Master Chief saying, “Honey, don't forget to buy some bread when you come home from work and your girlfriend Valerie says hi.”

The Master Chief texted back, "Who's Valerie?!"

The wife answered, "Nobody, I just wanted you to answer and to have confirmation that you saw my text."

The Master Chief replied, "Oh ok, because I’m with Valerie right now, I thought you saw me!"

The wife, who is taken aback, texted, "What??! Where are you?!"

The Master Chief responded, "Near the grocery store."

The wife then texted, "Wait, I’m coming right now!"

About 10 minutes later, the Master Chief's wife sends a message stating, "I’m at the store, where are you?!"

The Master Chief replied, "I’m at work. Now that you’re at the store, don't forget to buy the bread!"
🤣😂🤣😂

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23 days ago

Drawers or Wardrobe

Claire from Waitakere

A friend displaced by the floods a few weeks back has now found new accommodation - he is after a set of drawers or wardrobe
If anyone has some to spare or knows where he can get some please contact thanks

24 days ago

Apprenticeship opportunities in Auckland

Competenz

Hey Auckland!
We have 3 new apprenticeship opportunities listed on our website to get you trained on the job!
Furniture Making Aprentice
Mechanical Building Services Apprentice
Apprenticeship Fabrication - Steel Construction

Do you know someone who might be interested in one of these … View more
Hey Auckland!
We have 3 new apprenticeship opportunities listed on our website to get you trained on the job!
Furniture Making Aprentice
Mechanical Building Services Apprentice
Apprenticeship Fabrication - Steel Construction

Do you know someone who might be interested in one of these opportunities? Get in touch today!

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27 days ago

Are illegal gatherings being dealt with properly?

Todd Niall Reporter from Community News

Kia ora neighbours, The over-riding message under Covid-19 Alert Level 3 is, stay at home as much as possible. So when sporting groups gather daily at a West Auckland stadium, are police checking them out properly? Read the story below:

25 days ago

Saturday's Funny: 😉🤢Do you fart in bed?🤢😉

Fiona from Henderson

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke, the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she … View more
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke, the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.

He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.

She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out.

Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was.

He said, “Honey you were right, all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.

“What do you mean?” asked his wife.

“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…..”
😄🤣😄🤣😄

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24 days ago

Win a $4000 'Boost My Office' prize pack from Digital Boost.

Digital Boost

Hi Neighbour,

How does a new set of digital tech products sound?

Digital Boost is giving you the chance to win a $4,000 prize pack with loads of new goodies to make your office look really flash!

Running a small business means you need the right digital tools to work efficiently and … View more
Hi Neighbour,

How does a new set of digital tech products sound?

Digital Boost is giving you the chance to win a $4,000 prize pack with loads of new goodies to make your office look really flash!

Running a small business means you need the right digital tools to work efficiently and productively, so make sure you enter our draw to be in with a chance to win an amazing prize pack of brand new tech goodies.

Our latest prize package includes a 13in Apple Macbook Pro, a 24in Samsung Curved monitor, an ergonomic stand-up desk, and a free Xero subscription for one year (T&Cs apply).

All you have to do for a chance to win is simply sign up at Digital Boost and start learning to go into the draw.

If you’ve got a mate, colleague or whānau member who could do with some new gear, let them know too and you'll be in with even more chances to win. Enter today!

The team at Digital Boost

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28 days ago

Poll: When New Zealand reaches 80% fully vaccinated, which of the following estimates do you think provides the most suitable worst-case scenario for New Zealand over the next 12 months?

Alan from Titirangi

New Zealand currently has about 34% (about 1/3) of its population over 12 fully vaccinated. For Singapore the percentage is about 80 % (about 4/5). When New Zealand reaches 80% fully vaccinated, which of the following case estimates do you think provides the most suitable worst-case scenario for … View moreNew Zealand currently has about 34% (about 1/3) of its population over 12 fully vaccinated. For Singapore the percentage is about 80 % (about 4/5). When New Zealand reaches 80% fully vaccinated, which of the following case estimates do you think provides the most suitable worst-case scenario for New Zealand over the next 12 months? Assume you may have up to 80 deaths. See:
Covid-19 NZ: Rodney Jones says Shaun Hendy’s 7000-death vaccine model doesn’t pass plausibility test:
www.stuff.co.nz...
aaamazingphoenix.wordpress.com...

When New Zealand reaches 80% fully vaccinated, which of the following estimates do you think provides the most suitable worst-case scenario for New Zealand over the next 12 months?
  • 18.2% 90,000 cases
    18.2% Complete
  • 9.1% 50,000 cases
    9.1% Complete
  • 6.1% 24,000 cases
    6.1% Complete
  • 18.2% 12,000 cases
    18.2% Complete
  • 15.2% 8,000 cases
    15.2% Complete
  • 33.3% 4,000 cases
    33.3% Complete
33 votes
26 days ago

Grow an extra row

Yates

While some Kiwis are enjoying home grown vegies, many are going without vegetables altogether.

This National Gardening Week we’re encouraging gardeners to grow-an-extra-row to share with neighbours, community pantries, food banks and other local food donation agencies.

To help get your … View more
While some Kiwis are enjoying home grown vegies, many are going without vegetables altogether.

This National Gardening Week we’re encouraging gardeners to grow-an-extra-row to share with neighbours, community pantries, food banks and other local food donation agencies.

To help get your extra row underway Yates is lending a helping hand.

Just register online HERE between 1st and 25th October to receive a FREE packet of Yates Vegie Seeds.

Once you’ve grown your vegies to share (or if you have spare now) please visit HERE to find a list of the organisations that would welcome your donation of fresh homegrown vegies.
Find out more

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26 days ago

Prepared For Anything - October 1st to 31st 🎒📻🥫🔦🧴⚡️🔋🧻🧰📋🩹🧯🌊🥾🧼

The Team from Neighbourhood Support New Zealand

Here at Neighbourhood Support we know first hand that communities that stay connected and prepared fare better in emergencies and natural disasters than those without a plan.

For the month of October, we want to see how you tackle emergency preparedness. From getting first aid training and … View more
Here at Neighbourhood Support we know first hand that communities that stay connected and prepared fare better in emergencies and natural disasters than those without a plan.

For the month of October, we want to see how you tackle emergency preparedness. From getting first aid training and stocking up on essentials to putting together a grab n’ go bag or working with your neighbours to create a neighbourhood resillience plan, a little bit of planning goes a long way to make sure you and your community can get through any situation. Joining or setting up a Neighbourhood Support group is a great way to keep in touch and work together to reach out, look out and help out one another no matter what life may bring.

Don’t forget! This month also coincides with New Zealand’s national earthquake drill and tsunami hikoi, ShakeOut, which will be taking place on Thursday, October 28th at 9:30am.

Let us know how you’re getting prepared this month by tagging us in your social media posts or emailing us your photos, videos, or experiences to: info@neighbourhoodsupport.co.nz

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27 days ago

The Impacts of Climate Change on Insurance costs

Climate Insights

Our homes can be our greatest investment and protecting our homes against climate change has become more important than ever.

Our changing climate poses risks to our natural and built environments. Swiss Re in a global analysis of insurance risk said to “expect climate risks to raise global … View more
Our homes can be our greatest investment and protecting our homes against climate change has become more important than ever.

Our changing climate poses risks to our natural and built environments. Swiss Re in a global analysis of insurance risk said to “expect climate risks to raise global property premiums by 33-41% between 2020 and 2040”. The potential increase was deemed a direct consequence of our changing climate.

Our Climate Insights property report provides easily understood information on change to risks for your current or a future property. The report includes robust and actionable information for residential property owners, tenants and investors to enhance their property’s climate resilience.
Find out more

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27 days ago

🚀NASA Releases Its First Graphic Novel🚀

Fiona from Henderson

Such exciting news for space fans of all ages and it's all for FREE to inspire future astronauts
NASA released its own take on a graphic novel, entitling it First Woman.

Of course, it wouldn’t be the space agency if it didn’t somehow involve space. The story, spanning 40 pages, focuses on… View more
Such exciting news for space fans of all ages and it's all for FREE to inspire future astronauts
NASA released its own take on a graphic novel, entitling it First Woman.

Of course, it wouldn’t be the space agency if it didn’t somehow involve space. The story, spanning 40 pages, focuses on Callie Rodriguez, who is the first (fictional) woman to explore the Moon.

Additionally, readers can use their devices to merge the print and digital worlds for an even more immersive experience. There’s a dedicated app for both Android and iOS that will allow users to “explore life-sized environments and 3D objects” by scanning XR codes.

But if just reading the novel as-is is your preferred style, the PDF is available to download on the dedicated First Woman website: www.nasa.gov...

There’s also an audiobook version, uploaded on Soundcloud.

This is only the first issue in what NASA appears to promise is a series of similar novels.

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27 days ago

New website

The Team from Office for Seniors

Our new Office for Seniors website is now live!

The website is a great resource for older New Zealanders to find helpful information. It’s been designed with our older audience in mind so it’s easy to navigate.

It also outlines the role of the Office for Seniors.

Visit … View more
Our new Office for Seniors website is now live!

The website is a great resource for older New Zealanders to find helpful information. It’s been designed with our older audience in mind so it’s easy to navigate.

It also outlines the role of the Office for Seniors.

Visit officeforseniors.govt.nz

30 days ago

To bribe or not to bribe? That is the question🤔

Fiona from Henderson

Not sure where to start, but here goes …

The pressure for all of us, well not all of us but a vast majority of us, to get vaccinated for not only our own benefit, health and wellbeing, but also for good of the whole nation and mankind (so to speak), has been all over every single news outlet, … View more
Not sure where to start, but here goes …

The pressure for all of us, well not all of us but a vast majority of us, to get vaccinated for not only our own benefit, health and wellbeing, but also for good of the whole nation and mankind (so to speak), has been all over every single news outlet, social media platforms, online services etc …

It began with a trickle for us to trot down to the vaccination place to get our first vaccination.
Some have even had their second dose of the vaccination – well done.

Now, slowly but surely the speed has ramped up. The numbers have increased for those who have now entered the ‘vaccinated club’, again well done.

There will be those who refuse to get vaccinated for whatever reason, whether it is personal or medical. I do struggle understanding with the personal reasons but will respect their choice.

The public push to get the percentages up to get vaccinated is almost at full speed, and it’s been ‘interesting’ for lack of a better word right now, to watch this.

Those of us who have joined the vaccinated club, did so not only out of duty for our fellow mankind, but more importantly, to try and keep ourselves alive during this nightmare pandemic.

What I’m struggling with now regarding the push to get vaccinated, is the hand holding, the enticements, the bribes and the rewards the soon to be freshly vaccinated people are now being offered e.g. a car, a holiday, extra money in the pay packet, food etc …

Will all of those people who have already been vaccinated be getting any rewards that are currently on offer, to congratulate us for being responsible adults and stepping up early to get vaccinated?
Will we heck!

So why are they bribing people to get vaccinated now?
Has it shown to be an effective way of getting those bodies through the door?
Or has it merely shown people's greed?
When they start talking about vaccinating people in the fast food drive through, you know it’s becoming desperate.

We need to find a way that works for the whole of New Zealand, each and everyone of us. We can’t fix the world, but we sure as heck can start to fix ourselves here in New Zealand and prepare our loved ones around us to do the same.

I wish I knew the right answer on this or how to motivate people to get in with the rest of us in the vaccinated club, believe me, I’ve sat here for ages trying to think of a solution that would appease both sides, but I can’t.

All I know is that there will be people who will point the finger at the Government, at the Department of Health, at overseas stats, at the delay in getting the vaccine; HOWEVER none of those niggles that those people always throw out there have anything to do with this.

Do we really need to be enticed, bribed or even rewarded for doing something that will keep each of us alive in the long run?

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28 days ago

Poll: How do you feel about John Key’s comments on the Covid-19 response?

Ripu Bhatia Reporter from Auckland Stuff

Hi neighbours,

Sir John Key’s recent media blitz was full of suggestions for how the Covid-19 response could have been done better. Some have been found to be false (such as his claim we could have paid Pfizer for preferential supply), and some seem to have lit a fire under the Government to … View more
Hi neighbours,

Sir John Key’s recent media blitz was full of suggestions for how the Covid-19 response could have been done better. Some have been found to be false (such as his claim we could have paid Pfizer for preferential supply), and some seem to have lit a fire under the Government to get things moving (such as the suggestion of home quarantining).

How do you feel about Key’s contribution?

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How do you feel about John Key’s comments on the Covid-19 response?
  • 29.7% It was constructive and I support his points
    29.7% Complete
  • 15.1% It lit a fire under the Government and extracted much needed clarity
    15.1% Complete
  • 18% It was armchair commentary and he didn’t know what he was talking about
    18% Complete
  • 37.2% It was a struggling National’s attempt to regain some popularity
    37.2% Complete
1288 votes
45 days ago

Apprenticeship opportunities in Auckland

Competenz

Hey Auckland
We are back with some more awesome apprenticeship opportunities for you, Check them out!
Sheet metal fabrication
Refrigeration and air conditioning

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