2639 days ago

Vegan, vegetarian or voracious carnivore ?

Bruce from Napier South

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #536

I've thought long and hard about this vanity card. What I'm about to say is going to upset quite a few people. Some of them are my friends. Or perhaps, after reading this, my former friends. But I can't let that stop me from speaking my mind. It's time to say out loud what I know in my heart to be true. Vegetarians and vegans are mobility bigots. They believe that if a life form doesn't move, it's fair game to be killed and eaten. They hold a deepseated prejudice against plants, or, as plants prefer to be called, "We Who Stand Still." This hateful philosophy is predicated on the idea that movement equals consciousness, or, if you will, a certain level of sacredness. To put it simply, if it walks, flies, or swims, or comes from something that does, it should not be ingested. If it doesn't, yum-yum. Of course when you ask vegetarians and vegans, they say no, they're only opposed to eating flesh. But what could be more fleshy than a mushroom? Or avocado? Or eggplant? The ugly truth is they are cowards who murder and devour anything that can't run away. These people, who act so high and mighty, so spiritually elevated, have somehow constructed a style of cuisine that would justify them eating my Uncle Murray, a man known for sitting still for hours at a time, staring at a TV that is turned off. So the next time you order a salad consider this: Prince told us that doves cry. But what if kale does too?

More messages from your neighbours
3 days ago

Scam Alert: Fake information regarding December Bonuses from MSD

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

The Ministry of Social Development is reporting that fake information is circulating about new ‘December bonuses’ or ‘benefit increases’

If you get suspicious communication, please contact Netsafe.

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3 days ago

Neighbourhood Challenge: Who Can Crack This One? ⛓️‍💥❔

The Riddler from The Neighbourly Riddler

What has a head but no brain?

Do you think you know the answer? Simply 'Like' this post if you know the answer and the big reveal will be posted in the comments at 2pm on the day!

Want to stop seeing these in your newsfeed?
Head here and hover on the Following button on the top right of the page (and it will show Unfollow) and then click it. If it is giving you the option to Follow, then you've successfully unfollowed the Riddles page.

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4 days ago

Poll: Are Kiwis allergic to “exuberance”? 🥝

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

In The Post’s opinion piece on the developments set to open across Aotearoa in 2026, John Coop suggests that, as a nation, we’re “allergic to exuberance.”

We want to know: Are we really allergic to showing our excitement?

Is it time to lean into a more optimistic view of the place we call home? As big projects take shape and new opportunities emerge, perhaps it’s worth asking whether a little more confidence (and enthusiasm!) could do us some good.

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Are Kiwis allergic to “exuberance”? 🥝
  • 42.4% Yes
    42.4% Complete
  • 32.9% Maybe?
    32.9% Complete
  • 24.6% No
    24.6% Complete
641 votes