2807 days ago

If you're hurting, the world stops and I listen

Ann from Relationship Wellbeing Specialist

One of The Four Horsemen is defensiveness, which is an attempt to ward off a perceived attack.

“It’s not my fault that we’re always late.”

When we feel accused unjustly, we fish for excuses so that our partner will back off. Unfortunately, this strategy isn't very effective.

That's because defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner. You’re saying, in effect, “The problem isn’t me, it’s you.”

Instead, take responsibility for your words or actions that upset your partner. This opens the door to repair and reconnection.

“Well, you’re right. Part of this is my fault – I need to do a better job managing my time.”

Couples who are successful adopt the motto that, "If you’re hurting, the world stops and I listen. I’m with you."

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More messages from your neighbours
S
6 days ago

Speed limits around NaeNae

Susan from Naenae

Hi Neighbors, Just a heads up, I have just received a $170 fine for driving at 50km on Rata Street Naenae on a SUNDAY Morning. I wrote to NZTA pointing out and sending in a photo of sign stating that it was 30km on school days between those hours, but they said that the whole of Rata Street and some surrounding streets are 30km 24/7 and have been for over a year. Did I miss this been advised by council? Always good to be informed. Merry Christmas to all

4 days ago

Today’s Mind-Bender is the Last of the Year! Can You Guess It Before Everyone Else? 🌟🎁🌲

The Riddler from The Neighbourly Riddler

I dance in the sky with green and gold, a spectacle few are lucky to behold; I’m best seen in the south, a celestial sight—what am I, lighting up the New Zealand night?

Do you think you know the answer? Simply 'Like' this post and we'll post the answer in the comments below at 2pm on the day!

Want to stop seeing these in your newsfeed? No worries! Simply head here and click once on the Following button.

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6 days ago

Poll: Is it ok to regift something that you have been given?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

🎁 Holiday Gift Chat!

Do you ever regift?
What’s your take on asking for a receipt if a gift doesn’t fit?

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Is it ok to regift something that you have been given?
  • 79.1% Yes! It's better to regift what I don't need
    79.1% Complete
  • 20.9% No. It's the thought and effort that matters
    20.9% Complete
1081 votes