2809 days ago

If you're hurting, the world stops and I listen

Ann from Relationship Wellbeing Specialist

One of The Four Horsemen is defensiveness, which is an attempt to ward off a perceived attack.

“It’s not my fault that we’re always late.”

When we feel accused unjustly, we fish for excuses so that our partner will back off. Unfortunately, this strategy isn't very effective.

That's because defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner. You’re saying, in effect, “The problem isn’t me, it’s you.”

Instead, take responsibility for your words or actions that upset your partner. This opens the door to repair and reconnection.

“Well, you’re right. Part of this is my fault – I need to do a better job managing my time.”

Couples who are successful adopt the motto that, "If you’re hurting, the world stops and I listen. I’m with you."

Image
More messages from your neighbours
8 hours ago

Poll: Do you set New Year’s resolutions?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

🎉 2026 is almost here!

We’re curious ... how do you welcome it?
Do you set resolutions, follow special traditions, or just go with the flow?

Image
Do you set New Year’s resolutions?
  • 8.8% Yes! New Year, New Me
    8.8% Complete
  • 20.6% Yes - but I rarely stick to them
    20.6% Complete
  • 70.6% Nah - not for me
    70.6% Complete
68 votes
7 days ago

Poll: Is it ok to regift something that you have been given?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

🎁 Holiday Gift Chat!

Do you ever regift?
What’s your take on asking for a receipt if a gift doesn’t fit?

Image
Is it ok to regift something that you have been given?
  • 78.8% Yes! It's better to regift what I don't need
    78.8% Complete
  • 21.2% No. It's the thought and effort that matters
    21.2% Complete
1238 votes
5 days ago

Today’s Mind-Bender is the Last of the Year! Can You Guess It Before Everyone Else? 🌟🎁🌲

The Riddler from The Neighbourly Riddler

I dance in the sky with green and gold, a spectacle few are lucky to behold; I’m best seen in the south, a celestial sight—what am I, lighting up the New Zealand night?

Do you think you know the answer? Simply 'Like' this post and we'll post the answer in the comments below at 2pm on the day!

Want to stop seeing these in your newsfeed? No worries! Simply head here and click once on the Following button.

Image