Make Eastbourne Great Again MAY #4 Edition - All New - Mayhem!
Eastbourne’s only news source brave enough to serve satire with a side of scandal.
WHO IS CAPTAIN COOKER?
Not just a pig or a logo—he’s a movement. A legacy of rebellion is coming to light.
INTRODUCING CHEF GORDON RAMSWINE
Our furious new foodie delivers flame and flavour. First dish: Bushfire Chop with Smoked Apple & Kawakawa. Charred. Controversial. Definitely not vegan.
DRAGONS' TEETH ALERT
New concrete chunks line the cycleway. Safety or sabotage? You decide.
PUKATEA SANDS RESORT CASINO CHAOS
Locals rage over Eastbourne’s Vegas moment. Will retirees bet the bach?
Say Hello to MIKE HOGSKIN
Hosting NewSquawkZB. It’s grunty, gritty, and gloriously off-leash.
MEGA ENTERTAINMENT GOES LIVE
From Springsteen's mid-concert meltdown to our blockbuster-in-the-barn Silence of the Hams, the new MEGA magazine section.
EUROVISION & ECO WARS
Should Eastbourne host its own version of Eurovision? Should we ‘twin-city’ with somewhere like Dull, Scotland? And who exactly is that green-leaning local with the beard, boots, and attitude of Clarkson on a compost bender?
LOCAL BODY ELECTION SAFARI
Barry's out, Tui’s been found, Bruce just… reappeared. Who’s lurking next?
ENOUGH CAFÉS & REAL ESTATE AGENTS
Flat whites flood the coast—but where’s the food worth sitting for?
Get involved. Get informed. Get slightly confused. Join the conversation. Only at MEGA. Only in Eastbourne.
www.mega.kiwi.nz... — No filters. No fluff. Just the truth (with a twist).
#MakeEastbourneGreatAgain #MegaNZ #notMAGAbutMEGA #RealEastbourneNews
Poll: Should we be giving the green light to new mining projects? 💰🌲
The Environmental Protection Authority announced this week that a proposed mine in Central Otago (near Cromwell) is about to enter its fast-track assessment process. A final decision could come within six months, and if it’s approved, construction might start as early as mid-2026.
We want to know: Should mining projects like this move ahead?
Keen to dig deeper? Mike White has the scoop.
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53.1% Yes
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46.9% No
GARDENER WANTED
Looking for recommendations for a gardener (no lawn-mowing), who can give our gardens and section the TLC they deserve (weeding, pruning, diggng out, planting and binning old garden waste) and anything else you may see that needs doing.
Thanks in advance 🙂
‘Tis the season to not get scammed ...
As Christmas gift shopping moves increasingly online, scammers are ramping up their activity across the country.
Dunedin’s Investigation Support Unit is seeing more and more people fall victim to scams and other fraudulent activity, particularly on Facebook Marketplace.
There are a few ways to avoid the scams and keep yourself safe doing online trades this holiday season, says Southern District Service Delivery Manager Senior Sergeant Dalton.
🔒 “A good first step when looking to purchase something on Marketplace is to check when the seller’s Facebook profile was created. If it’s very recent, there is a higher risk that they have just created this account for a one-off fake item.”
🔒 Another important step is to make sure the seller’s profile name and bank account name match up. “We’re seeing a lot of scammers claiming their bank account name is different because it belongs to their partner or family member - that’s a huge red flag."
🔒 “When you’re selling, never trust a screenshot anyone sends you showing that payment has been made. Check your own bank account to make sure a payment has gone through."
🔒 “Quite frankly, it’s best for all parties to agree to pay, or be paid, for items in cash and in-person. Ideally in a public place with CCTV coverage."
🔒 "If you’re buying a car, check Carjam.co.nz to see if it’s stolen or if there’s money owed on it.”
A reminder: Suspicious activity can be reported on 105
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