Saturday's Funny: 😉🤢Do you fart in bed?🤢😉
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke, the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was.
He said, “Honey you were right, all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.
“What do you mean?” asked his wife.
“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…..”
😄🤣😄🤣😄
Neighbourhood Challenge: Who Can Crack This One? ⛓️💥❔
What has a head but no brain?
Do you think you know the answer? Simply 'Like' this post if you know the answer and the big reveal will be posted in the comments at 2pm on the day!
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Boxing Day Alert! Grab a Mattress That Feels Out of This World
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Even better? Perfect timing! Our Boxing Day Sale is happening now! It’s the perfect chance to grab your dream mattress and upgrade your sleep before the year ends.
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Neighbours, your dream bed is waiting - don’t let another sleepless night pass!
Poll: 🗑️ Would you be keen to switch to a fortnightly rubbish collection, or do you prefer things as they are?
Aucklanders, our weekly rubbish collections are staying after councillors voted to scrap a proposed trial of fortnightly pick-ups.
We want to hear from you: would you be keen to switch to a fortnightly rubbish collection, or do you prefer things as they are?
Keen for the details? Read up about the scrapped collection trial here.
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83.9% Same!
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16.1% Would have liked to try something different
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