WARNING from an Old Lady....
"An older lady gets pulled over for speeding"...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there e a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Don't Mess With Old Ladies
Poll: Does the building consent process need to change?
We definitely need homes that are fit to live in but there are often frustrations when it comes to getting consent to modify your own home.
Do you think changes need made to the current process for building consent? Share your thoughts below.
Type 'Not For Print' if you wish your comments to be excluded from the Conversations column of your local paper.
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91.9% Yes
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7.7% No
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0.5% Other - I'll share below!
Say goodbye to tyre waste
About 40% of the 6.5 million tyres Kiwis use every year are recycled, repurposed, or used as tyre-derived fuel. But the rest end up in landfills, stockpiled or dumped.
The good news is now there’s an easy solution to all that tyre waste. It’s called Tyrewise and is New Zealand’s first national tyre recycling scheme.
Tyrewise ensures that tyres in Aotearoa New Zealand are recycled or repurposed properly, saving millions from going to the landfill.
Find out more about the scheme online.
What's On: Hatea U3A
Hatea U3A
- St John’s Golden Church
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